Distant flickerings, greener scenery
This weather's bringing it all back again
Great adventures, faces in condensation
I'm going outside to take it all in

You say too late to start
Got your heart in a headlock
I don't believe any of it
You say too late to start
With your heart in a headlock
You know you're better than this

Wear a different pair, do something out of step
Throw a stranger an unexpected smile
With big intention, still posted at your station
Always on about the day it should have flied

You say too late to start
Got your heart in a headlock
I don't believe any of it
You say too late to start
With your heart in a headlock
You know you're better than this
Afraid to start
Got your heart in a headlock
I don't believe any of it
You say too late to start
With your heart in a headlock
You know you're better than this

You've been walking, you've been hiding
And you look half dead half the time
Monitoring you, like machines do
You've still got it, I'm just keeping an eye

I used to love radiohead, but then one day I was walking with my girlfriend and a whole gang of Radiohead's jumped me, they pushed me to the ground and teased me "who's a creep now weirdo? What are you some kind of kid a?" The whole time I was crying and trying to tell them that "I love radiohead and I skinned my knee when I fell" and ed just beat me with his freakishly long arms and the whole time Thom just twitched nervously and I asked "do you have mxymytosis?" and he telepathically conveyed to me "that's not a word" and Jonny was on his laptop googling sounds no like actually he typed "sounds" in to google and was like "yeah all right" and the other 2 were like "we are also in the band" and I said "hey that's great can you call off this guy and we will get a pint?" And they said "we prefer to have a biscuit but we eat mama bird style it's what all the kids do now" but they said it together in synch like freaky twins anyway that's how I ruined my pants

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This is not urine or water💧! This is Sperm! 😮😲😳 Last night 🌃 at my working place during my official rest time I sleep 😴 after I wake up 👆, I realized my Pants y wet wet ones?! 😳😮😲 I touch my Private parts & how come sticky sticky ones?! OMG! I hav a Wet Dream 😮😲😯 while sleeping 😴!!!!

I ate 5 homeless people because i thought they were watermelons. Hi my name is sukhmi blikballs, this is my story. It was a lovely morning and i demolished my toilet after eating spicy mexicans. I then was on my way to work and then i see 5 talking watermelons asking for change, i thought i was tripping so i devoured them and left. Guys is it normal for your pee to be green? Asking for a friend by the way.

me: asian maid get over here ♥♥♥♥♥

asian maid: nani desu ka, goshojin-sama??????????

me: give me a sloppy toppy kudasai

maid: begins giving an epic sloppy toppy

me: ♥♥♥