Masturbation is a sport.

According to Oxford Dictionary, a sport is defined as “an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment."

Masturbation:

-involves physical exertion

-involves skill

-is entertaining

-involves individuals and groups that can compete against each other

Therefore, using this criteria, beating your meat is objectively a sport.

Hey I found your steam through a mutual and I just wanted to say that I think we could get along real well :) I don't normally do things like this cause I'm a real gentleman :3, but do you want to maybe play a bit of cs sometime (omg I'm so embarrassed) >< I could go on my smurf so you don't have to put in that much effort, even though you're like the best and you'll probably be on top every round. When I see your name I just feel like we have this special connection that I can't describe in words, I think.. maybe we knew each other in a past life xDD like I can do the cooking and everything, you don't have to worry about that cuz I'm a real feminist, but I'll still take care of you <3 I know how to make a woman feel like a girl, but I won't do anything that freaks you out, just say one word and I'll stop so so fast! so maybe just consider me? I can't believe I'm writing this all out to you >< !! Even if you reject me it's all worth it just for you, my wuv <3 (plz don't reject me !!)

+rep

Hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It’s really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don’t know why it’s a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime it’s a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don’t worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasn’t flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i’m really shy I don’t go out much haha add me on skypre we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx