Diary Entry 1:
Had a great day in the retirement home. Greta is the nicest women ever. She always has something good to say, even when I'm feeling down. I'm honored to have a nurse who actually listens for once— listens! -face palm- like that's so hard to do. She even takes time to understand what I'm going through. I can't thank her enough for being such a blessing.

Update:
Greta is now buried under the floorboards of my one room condo. Oakridge Lane 221 Orlando, Flordia 32801 Apt. 22. She had the audacity to badmouth my Twilight headcanon. Honestly, I'm glad the wench is done and dusted.

Diary Entry 2:
It's been a few months since I've made a diary entry. I'm in a hard position in my life at the moment. I lost the gambling granny's anal-ual competition and compromised my role as the head honcho gangsta grandma. Not even my sugar baby Daniel wants to be my young hip e-boy anymore. (note) I was suspecting he liked men anyways. -sigh- At least I don't need to take my Metamucil because the poo has officially been scared straight out of me. I keep hearing movement underneath me. GRETA IS LIVING UNDERNEATH MY FLOOR! I KNOW IT! I can hear her voice when I sleep at night. "Edward would never fall for someone as old and haggard as you, N/A!"

I think she's trying to gaslight me, and it's working! I want her gone, but I don't have the heart to kill her—again. I just want her to be quiet, and stop reminding me that I'm not worthy of love!

Eddy loves me! Right?!

-Signed, N/A