Reseñas recientes de He Who Wears Pants

I confess, I always liked Secret Agent more than Crystal Caves...

oh, uh, *ahem*, another classic Apogee platformer returns! And in good form, lovingly updated with a fresh coat of SVGA paint and just the right amount of QOL improvements. The overall game mechanics are wholly the same, though, so if ever you felt the itch to get into an authentic 90s PC platformer, here's your chance. Now to cross my fingers and hope for an eventual Duke Nukum HD...

And the music! While being a new addition, it actually matches the kind of Adlib music you'd have heard in an Apogee platformer like Commander Keen or Duke Nukem II. Unlike Crystal Caves HD, where the music (while good!) sounds more like it'd be suited for the NES, Secret Agent HD's music sounds like it could have been pulled straight from an as-yet undiscovered re-release of the original. Retro musicians take note!

I've been following this project ever since I was generally disappointed in the original Half-Life: Source back in 2004, and having finally reached the end of Black Mesa, I feel the wait was well worth it. Having played the original Half-Life countless times, I can confidently state that Black Mesa captures the atmosphere of the original and then some. The gunplay is solid, the platforming improved, and the final levels set in Xen are at long last given the TLC they needed to complete the narrative and follow into the events of Half-Life 2. There were a few wonky bits here and there, but overall, a high level of polish, creativity, and faithfulness to the original carry this game and give credit to Valve's trust in Crowbar Collective to see this project through

And just like that, it's 1991 and I'm 8 years old again, back at my cousin's house, knuckles white from the death-grip I have on the NES controller as I pogo across the moon as a one-percenter in his quest to get one-percentier. This is a note-for-note faithful recreation of the NES classic, laid over with high-definition whizbangs and whatnots, that promises a high-speed trip down Nostalgia Lane for anybody who played the thumb-numbing original. I could do without the unnecessary voicework, but I understand that's what happens when you take a Disney NES videogame and vault it into the 21st century. Oh, and go Hard Pogo or go home, scrubs.

At last, the spiritual sequel to LoZ: Wind Waker that I've been waiting for!

I mean that in the best possible way; I LOVED the sailing aspect in Wind Waker. Cruising around, attacking forts and ships, exploring uncharted islands...I liked to imagine huddled groups of goblins gossiping anxiously in hushed tones of the green-suited tiny terror swooping across the high seas leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. And now, the unlikeliest franchise takes that concept and realizes its full potential, giving us the best ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pirate game in recent memory, and possibly of all time. (I played Sid Meier's Pirates! too, AC4 is practically a dancing-minigame away from being a faithful over-the-shoulder sequel.)

And yes, it is still an Assassin's Creed at its core, and I love it and I'm super-fine with that. I enjoyed AC1 and thought AC2/AssBro was transcendent, so I'm already a fan, but surprisingly it's not the Assassin's Creed itch that AC4 best scratches, but the long-dormant Wind Waker/Pirates! itch.

Now if only they'd just give up on those increasingly-conspicuous iconic hoods.

If Rockstar had followed up GTA: San Andreas by cranking the Wackiness dial to "11" instead of "Dull Grey", they would have made the Saints Row franchise, and The Third went and carved a "12" into the dial and cranked it up to that. This game does everything big, almost to a fault. It's almost TOO wacky. On the other hand, like SR2, it's rather refreshing to have a PC who knows they're a badass street gang boss with attitude, which encourages you to gleefully play the ruthless madness to the hilt. Ultimately, this is a game you'd play to indulge your id and stroke your ego.

If any franchise needed a gritty reboot, it was Tomb Raider. Speaking as someone who generally shunned Tomb Raider games in the past, I really enjoyed this one. I loved the transition from Lara "ohshitohshitohshit" Croft to Lara "AND HELL'S COMING WITH ME" Croft. It's also a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ gorgeous game. Genuinely looking forward to the inevitable(?) sequel.

"WELCOME TO THE FUTURE. THE YEAR: 2007." If you grew up in the 1980s, you knew what comes next: Perfectly distilled 1980s sci-fi B-movie, featuring copious amounts of unnecessary neon trim, excessive use of the prefix "cyber-" and a synth-fueled soundtrack that gets you pumped to do battle with robo-soldiers and giant laser-eyed lizards. It's also fun as hell and playing as cyber-badass Rex "Power" Colt means you can forget all that "realism" nonsense and focus on what's imporant: kill bad guys, get the girl, save the world. Does not require Far Cry 3, a STEAL at $15!

Fast. Hard. Bloody. This is the Violent Video Games your congressman warned you about. Hotline Miami knows what it is, and makes sure it does not let you walk away feeling clean. And yet, there is a cleansing catharsis about it, fueled by the unrelenting soundtrack.

The tactical aspect is like chess if the board were a hundred times bigger, your pieces had guns and you had to go find your opponents'. The strategic aspect is essentially managing money, equipment and expectations. Both are related and connected in a surprisingly intuitive way. A refreshing game that teaches you the meaning of the word "failure" without mercy, and rewards cunning with equal fervor. Tl;dr: TERRIFIC.

GTA meets Hong Kong blood opera meets Assassin's Creed (somehow) in a really pretty package