Christopher Columbus drove his diesel truck up onto the beach of Hispaniola. "Damn I love being white" he said, punching a native child as he climbed out. "I don't think this is China" said his navigator; "Shut up libtard" came the reply from behind a veil of cigar smoke. "Please sir" said the Taino chief, "these are our ancestral lands where we have lived in an entirely peaceful utopia for thousands of years. We don't even know what war is."

"Sounds like WOKE NONESENSE to me" guffawed Columbus, his very presence introducing microplastics into the ecosystem as he cracked a Miller High Life. "This is MAGA country now, boys" he proclaimed before shooting the chief with an unregistered AR-15. The other natives scattered in terror, sheltering their nonbinary tribe members from the bullets and slurs that now ripped through the treeline. "Kek" said Columbus,

bro what did u tell them? the reptilians have been at my house for over an HOUR and they just wont stop listening to PARTY ROCK

hi also im gay

Hello Victor and you seen this that means I miss you I did that still makes it to this day you're a good person fun messages today goodbye and you won't comment text me go ahead I answer 😭

Are you mad at me?

+rep has aura