Recent reviews by [RB] 'Blaster' Guardian

Anyone who knows me, knows I love DOOM. DOOM is why I'm a gamer at all. I'd watch my dad play the game in the '90s, on DOS. I enjoyed watching him be the hero so much, that I begged him to let me be the hero, too. And here we are, thirty years later.

As I grew up, I came to realize that, while Deathmatch games are AWESOME, I actually enjoy playing DOOM in co-op (and games like it) much, much more. Unfortunately, for the longest time, there weren't any iterations of Classic DOOM on Steam that allowed for co-op. Look, yeah, I got twenty-plus years of gaming under my belt, but I am a ♥♥♥♥♥♥' scrublord. I know mods and ports exist that allow users to play ClassicDOOM co-op, but that ♥♥♥♥ is as alien to me as the demons I'm killing. I don't know how to get that ♥♥♥♥ loaded properly, and I sure as hell don't know how to get another player to connect with me to lay waste to the denizens of Hell together.

Until now.

Everyone has their go-to game on Steam. The one they buy the moment someone says "Oh I don't actually have that game" -- and minutes later BOOM! -- that someone has received a gift on Steam. (Or is that just me?)

Setting up a multiplayer game is so distressingly easy that even I could do it. And I did. And I will again. Because oh-my-god you have no IDEA -- HOW LONG -- I have waited to be able to play ClassicDOOM co-op with the gamer friends I've made over the years. And now I can, with this fantastically simple UI. And I can play it through Steam, where getting people into a lobby is as simple as clicking maybe three graphics.

The only way this could possibly be any easier is if I could do it with my mind --- annnd, now that I think about it, that may not be so farfetched.

"Sometimes I wonder if mining is all there is to life -- then I punch myself in the nose."

For those users who have yet to take the plunge, this is a quote your player-character will occasionally say in-game. Although this game is chock-full of silly quotes like this*, I find this one explains the game quite well. You are a Dwarf employed by Deep Rock Galactic, an interstellar mining conglomerate. Your assignment is to strip-mine the planetoid Hoxxes IV for everything it has, by any means necessary. You may choose from four Dwarf classes: Gunner, Engineer, Driller, and Scout. Each class brings its own unique gameplay and weaponry to any given mission, and you will likely find yourself choosing certain class more often than others.

There are currently eight types of unique missions that you can play across ten different Biomes. Biome rotation occurs approximately every thirty minutes, so if your preferred Biome is not available you'll need to wait for the rotation to cycle. You can either enter a mission solo, join/host with friends, or join/host with other random players.

Prior to starting a mission, you spawn in your Space Rig holding geosynchronous orbit with Hoxxes IV. The Space Rig has all the amenities a spacefaring Dwarf miner could ask for: Wardrobe and Equipment stations to customize your look and weapons; arcade games to pass the time between missions; and even a cantina!

Before you step into the Drop Pod, you must always visit the Abyss Bar. In addition to the standard brews, there may be a special brewski available that will provide a helpful buff during your upcoming mission. While Management does not encourage drinking on the job, you are a Dwarf; alcohol is your lifeblood. As is mining. It is all you need. I do feel obligated to warn you, however: if you're drunk enough, you will stumble and your vision will blur. If this does not come across as a funny quirk, maybe don't down all the mugs your buddies are ordering from Lloyd.

Deep Rock Galactic has a sense of humor that I fondly adore; it's the same kind of hilarious irreverence that first attracted me to TF2. Javier O'Neill's voice provides delightful life to the Dwarves, while Robert Friis imparts corporate wisdom as Mission Control. Together, they help make DRG feel real and alive.

A final note: DRG supports mods, which you can access in-game. Mods range from helpful gameplay tweaks to laughfests. I personally recommend 'Googly Glyphids' and 'Passive Aggressive Mission Control'. You'll thank me later.

*Seriously, do a YouTube search for 'Rock and Stone'

This is going to be the most positive negative review I have ever written. I also want to be quite clear: I did not dislike this game. But, the types of games I normally play, are not games like this.

When I first finished the game, I was left confused. I thought to myself, "That's it? Where's the closure? Where's the winning condition?" I thought about it for a little bit, and I realized the problem lay not in the game itself, but in what I consider to be the definition of a 'videogame.'

I grew up in the 90s, what I consider the Golden Age of PC gaming. This was the era of DOOM, Duke Nukem 3D, Unreal/UT, and Half-Life. This was also the era of adventure games like Myst, Full Throttle, and Monkey Island. Two different types of genres, but still very enjoyable games. Nowadays, a videogame can exist in many different genres at once; but, not all games can satisfy all audiences.

My point, however, is that this is okay. What you enjoy may not necessarily be something I enjoy, and vice-versa. But you enjoy it; that's really all that matters.

So why am I still not recommending this game?

Look, I'm not stupid; not every gamer-buddy of mine is going to be able to play a game like this and enjoy it. Not all my of my gamer-buddies will be able to allow this game to take them on the journey it wishes to show them. I could, and that's great. But, if I want this review to be helpful, I ought to be honest.

Will I continue to play games like this? Certainly.

But would I play it over DOOM? Nah.

Ahh yis, THIS is the DOOM I have been waiting for. Glorious. Chef's Kees.

I grew up playing the original DOOM, released in 1993. I've played other FPSs over the years, such as Duke Nukem 3D, Unreal, and Half-Life. I was excited for DOOM3, and enjoyed playing it; but, it just didn't have the same feel as OG DOOM.

This DOOM takes what was great about the original and gives it -- um -- let's call them "performance vitamins." Everything is turned up to 11, and it is GLORIOUS. I have so - much - fun performing those Glory Kills.

Another feature I love are the secrets hidden within each level. If you find the switch, you unlock a passage that gives way to a portion of one of the original 1993 game's levels (either Ultimate DOOM or DOOM II). Dayum, gaming technology has come a LONG way. Once you've exited the main level, you can then load the secret level from the main menu, and play it in its entirety. Consider my nostalgia desire satisfied.

If there's anything negative I could say about the game, it would be its length. Now, granted, I was just a kid when DOOM was first released; it's entirely possible that completing a game like DOOM took me longer because of my age (I would have been ten years old) and/or sheer lack of gaming knowledge. I'm much older now, and have been playing games my entire life; so, I would like to hope I've learned a few things. Besides, that's what sequels are for, amirite?

Anyway, if anyone wants to get together for a co-op map, maybe knock out some of those multiplayer Achievements, look me up!

When DOOM3 first came out, I was supr-dupr excited. You can tell how excited I was because of how I've deliberately misspelled super-duper. Although Final DOOM introduced me to user-made WADs, and as such these held me over until DOOM3's release in 2004, the allure of a new engine and the 'controversy' of an actual STORY(!) were too much to pass up.

You play as the DOOM Marine, one of a very few to survive Hell's initial attack of Mars. True to the original, we don't know his name or why he is on Mars. With command hierarchy nearly completely decimated, it's up to you to find out what happened and how to stop it from reaching Earth.

In all, I am satisfied with the gaming experience DOOM3 and RoE provide; it's -- just not my kind'ah DOOM. The story pulls honorably from what is known colloquially as the DOOM Bible. If you're curious, check out the DOOM wiki[doomwiki.org]. And, hey, major props for the BFG-9000; it certainly lives up to its name, and is very satisfying to use.

I do recommend this game for Achievement Hunters, as no other versions of DOOM available on Steam come packed with them. Speaking of Achievement Hunters, I'm hoping to find someone to tick off some of the multiplayer ones.

One of my buddies streams a few days a week, and recently he's been streaming his playthrough of Darkest Dungeon. I grew intrigued watching him play, and eventually picked up the game myself during the 2021 Steam Winter Sale. I figured, cool, another game I can suck at!

And I'm sure I do.

Darkest Dungeon includes primarily JRPG and management-sim elements, but what you really need to watch is the stress-level of your heroes. Just like any one of us, they can only take so much before they break.

You start the game with two heroes, but as you progress you can add more to your roster each week, as the Stagecoach rolls in with fresh meat -- er, arrivals. Time passes by completing Quests, and this is likely where you'll spend most of your playtime. Quests consist of basic A/D movement on the keyboard, and W to interact with found oddities.

Upon completing a Quest, you return to your Hamlet, where you can attempt to upgrade the various buildings in town to provide better stress relief for your heroes; I say attempt because resource management is -- deliberately tricky. Instead of paying Gold for building upgrades, you use family heirlooms, which you can collect during Quests; however, their drop-rate is random, and you may end up with plenty of one type (Busts, Portraits, or Crests), but the upgrade you want to purchase requires a different heirloom. Gold is used to purchase Armor and Weapon upgrades fro your heroes, as well as upgrading their abilities. You also use Gold to provision your heroes prior to embarking upon a Quest.

I've never played a JRPG myself, and strategy games kick my ass to the ground. I've already had to start over multiple times before I found a playstyle that actually works -- and another restart may be in my near future anyway. But I'm not complaining, oh no. Quite the contrary; this game is very honest about how much it's going to screw with you, and I gottah give props to a game with that much transparency.

Now if only such transparency could be applied to, oh, say, US politics?

I've killed monsters in games like DOOM (OG '93 represent!) and Half-Life. I've even cleaned up after these battles in Viscera Cleanup Detail. But I had yet to play a game where I WAS the monster.

I often joke with my gamer friends that I'm too lawful good for my own good. I can barely maintain a snarky personality in games with consequences/karma like Fallout and Skyrim. I just wanna do the right thing, ya know?

But there's something -- liberating -- about BEING the monster. I know I'm the enemy, and there is nothing I can do to change that. So -- when in Rome, amirite?

Upon starting the game, it's immediately obvious the developers have a fondness for the 80s movie The Thing. You start as a tiny, writhing mess of bloody flesh/muscle, eyes, and teeth. Your goal is to subsume similar messes of flesh, and in doing so you gain greater mass and better abilities. However, big isn't always best. Many puzzles require you to downsize in order to complete them. If there's a pool of bloody water nearby, be prepared to 'poop'. Additionally, your size dictates what special abilities are available to you.

The puzzles themselves are not terribly difficult, for which I am grateful. I loves me my vidya gaemes, but I am a scrublord. While there were a couple that bent my brain, I eventually figured them out.

The game is rather short, and I was able to obtain all achievements in two full playthroughs. Had I been trying, I likely could have snagged them all in one. But I'll likely play a few more times before I put it on the shelf.

Controls are simple, and even work for keyboard + mouse. It's entirely possible that using a controller makes for a more intuitive experience; I just don't have one.

Sometimes one can get lost in the world, trying to locate all Containment Units. There is a user-made map guide, which I highly recommend reviewing.

Lastly, major, MAJOR props to the voice-actors. I had a lot of fun rampaging through the facility as horrified screams echoed through the bloodied halls.

Anyone who's played a sci-fi FPS will likely get a huge kick out of the game. I would also recommend it for fans of puzzle games, if you don't mind the gore. This may be a pixelated game, but dayum, those floors get red and slick right quick!

I'm not a big fan of this genre. My poker-face is anything but. But I've been told my maniacal cackle is awesome (among other things, heh), so any opportunity to use said laugh is worth taking advantage of, indeed.

Meh-heh-heh-heh . . .

I'd recommend playing this game with friends, and really just avoid pub-matches completely. I haven't tried going into a pub-match on my own, and frankly I don't intend to. I don't know how toxic pub-matches can be; it's entirely possible that they're not for the most part. But I'd rather not take the chance just yet. Perhaps when I have more hours under my belt and know the game a little better.

But it's fun, definitely.

Prop Hunt is my absolute favorite gamemode. It's hide-and-seek with guns. There is something viscerally hilarious about watching a little hula-dancer-girl-dashboard-bobble-thing juking away from shotgun blasts.

Just, ah, fair warning, though: if you should ever see me on your team, you MIGHT want to turn down your volume.

Full Throttle was originally released in 1995. A gem from the now-defunct LucasArts, it's a pretty damn good example of what constituted point-and-click adventure games at that time, and is one of the games I recall enthusiastically watching my father play.

You play as Ben Whatsisname. This Remaster seems to have changed his last name to Throttle, but I ♥♥♥♥ you not, in the little hard-copy installation guide that came with this CD, they listed his last name as Whatsisname. And that's the last name I'm sticking with.

Anyway.

Ben leads the Polecats, one of a number of biker gangs that occasionally ravage the countryside. Your gang is strapped for cash, but salvation comes in the form of none other but the CEO of Corley Motors himself. But is his offer really genuine?

This remastered version is stunning. I, personally, get a huge kick out of switching between Remastered and Classic view, and seeing the HUGE DIFFERENCE. Computer-gaming technology has come a long way in just two decades.

If you like point-and-click adventure games, I would highly recommend adding this to your Library. Fair warning, however: compared to today's games, this one is rather short. You can probably complete it in less than five hours; but let's be fair, this was considered reasonable when the game was originally released.