UTV's archiver sat on his chair on his laptop. Thunder erupted outside. He reflected for a moment,
surrounded by the sound of rain on the windows and the increasing volume of the computers whirr
as it struggled to load the 5000 by 5000 pixels image of a dog UTV had posted, or the 'Annoyed Big
Cat', as it has been titled. UTV's archiver was on his 700 th thread of archiving UTV's posts. He still
hadn't met UTV in real life, although by this point he was starting to wish he could. Months of
watching him from behind a screen had led him into temptation. He felt like a man who had spent
years looking through a telescope and now wanted nothing more than to visit the Moon. However,
he knew trying to visit with Phil would ruin his relationship with him, so he merely opened the image
of the 100 posts he had taken from their first 100 posts together and looked to it, longingly, but
satisfied that this was good enough for him. Suddenly, a great flash lit up the room and the roar of
thunder echoed from outside. UTV's archiver felt an electronic jolt shoot through the computer and
into his hand and was sent flying backwards, his head connecting with the wall and rendering him
knocked out.

When UTV's archiver came to, his vision was blurred, and his head still feeling heavy and shaken by
the force of its striking the wall. He eventually stood up and made his way back to his chair. But
before he could sit down, he noticed something in the corner of his eye. He looked to the right, and
saw a man. Average height. Handsome. He was wearing a strange jacket. It was then that UTV's
archiver noticed something. The jacket was made up of the posts that he had included in his
lOOforlOO collage, the one he was looking at before the accident. He then came to the
understanding of who he was looking at. He was looking at UTV, or, at least, a version of him,
created by the surge of energy through his laptop. UTV's archiver moved closer to the vision., the
UTV 'ghost'. He touched his skin, and was met with no reaction. The ghosts eyes followed his
actions. UTV's archiver was suddenly overcome with emotion. This may not actually be UTV, but it
was very close. It was close enough that it was like he had finally come into contact with UTV. He
was overcome not only by mental emotions, but by sexual emotions. He found himself becoming
aroused, and removed his penis from his trousers and began to masturbate to the visage of UTV that
stood in front of him. He closed his eyes and thought of all the posts he had archived waiting for this
moment. He has told people that he had no sexual feelings for UTV, and maybe at one stage he
didn't, but now, now he most certainly did. He pumped ever faster, the blood rushed to his penis like
he had so often rushed to his computer in the morning to ensure he did not miss any more UTV
posts than were strictly necessary. He pumped, and pumped, an just as he was about to come he
heard a voice mutter...

"Gutting the Gorilla". UTV's archiver almost jumped out of his seat, and opened his eyes. In front of
him he saw the UTV ghost. It opened its mouth again and said "Gutting the Gorilla". UTV's archiver
couldn't believe it, his UTV could speak! 'Hello UTV. I've been waiting for you my friend', came the
communication from his mouth. The ghost looked back at him. "Gutting the Gorilla", came the reply.
UTV's archiver was confused. He asked the ghost to say something else and the ghost looked back
and said "Grenvilles car bomb outside of a British army base.gif". UTV's archiver was confused but
then had a moment of realisation. He looked at the screen, and saw that the lOOforlOO collage was
still open. He then realised that the UTV ghost had been created from this, and could only speak in
quotes from that thread.


54


"Great" said the archiver. "I have a lifesized UTV action figure", he continued, showing the dry wit
and intelligence that he had learnt from following UTV and archiving his posts for so long. "Might as
well make the most of it", he thought to himself, looking at the body of the ghost in its firm,
handsome form. He felt his penis rising once again. He looked the ghost in its hautingly beautiful
eyes. He could see the twinkle that had so often disappeared from the real UTV during Aston Villa
games under McLeish. He opened his mouth and said "I'm going to pack more semen into you than
you packed posts into volume 180". The UTV ghost smiled, as he knew how many posts were in that
particular volume. He then opened his mouth and said "It amazes me how often players on this just
throw the ball to opposition players under absolutely no pressure." For his archiver, this was just as
good as consent. He stood up and began to remove the coat from the ghost of UTV. This was going
to be the greatest night of his life.

UTV's archiver began to peel the ghosts jacket off, revealing the slightly off colour skin beneath. He
began to tenderly kiss its nipples. "Keep me updated on your ♥♥♥♥ Smashing, Finlandbro", moaned
the ghost, his sexuality seeping through within his voice. "Oh I'll keep you updated on my smashing.
Update one- Its just about to start", purred his archiver, as he pulled UTV down onto his ripening
penis and began to bounce him up and down. He noticed that the ghost was very light, perhaps as
he was mimicking UTV's posts, which tend to be light hearted and amusing. He began to pump inside
of him, and eventually, felt his penis begin to vibrate, before eventually shooting a mighty burst of
semen into the UTV ghost. The UTV ghost had a tremendous orgams, bellowing out ">Tunisian with
high technique/pasing/flair and low teamwork/mediocre workrate, Surprise surprise" as his eyes
rolled into his incredible magical ghostly head. UTV's archiver was briefly satisfied, like whenever he
reads a UTV post, but then had a sudden realisation of what he had done, like when the UTV post
turns out to be an impersonator. He had molested an innocent spectre without even knowing if he
had consent. Was the ghost even lucid? Was it safe to do what had just happened? He looked at the
ghost was fear in his eyes and mumbled "Is what we just did OK?". The ghost looked back at him and
said ">mfw a 17 year old is carrying my team".

UTV's archiver fell to his knees knowing he would never get an answer and screamed for forgiveness
from the real UTV.