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I've never masturbated. I've just had sex. In real life I have a lantern jaw and an 8 inch penis (erect, of course). I'm 6'4 and have 20 tatoos. I'm white, blue eyes, blonde hair and everything. the WASP type, girls love it, especially colored ones. Very muscular as wall, been lifting for quite a while.

Masturbating seems like it's for losers tbh. I can give you tips on how to bag some real pu$$y if you want, kid. Don't hesitate to DM me.

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and to at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme T rannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to $hit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there’s a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I’m different. On December 14th, I’m moving to Antartica; home of the greatest walruses. I’ve already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. If you have any questions or maybe advice, just inbox me. Thank you all so much ~~

disagree with your bio

You are too the damned author!