My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?

Women of reddit(18F) , what is the most sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexies(47F)t sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual

Thing you have ever done to an antisocial 36 year old man living with his parents and spends 16 hours a day browsing reddit?

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my ♥♥♥♥ out. “♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. “Please,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own ♥♥♥, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human ♥♥♥♥♥, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility.

"Please God, let me meet her. All I want to do is to found that perfect girl that I know exists. She's sweet and shy and my age and likes all the things I do, perhaps is even on this site itself. Who won't secretly think I'm a loser, the girl a can cuddle with (even if only possible online) and spent nights talking to and laughing and sharing happiness. Someone who can reciprocate the love I put in, the who i can make feel safe and secure unconditionally and fill this gaping, empty void in my heart. Please just let me find this person, I'll change everything about if thats what it takes, please I just can't take the loneliness anymore..." - Yoda

Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple