"I’m the one that killed Monday, whupped Tuesday and put Wednesday in the hospital! Called up Thursday to tell Friday not to bury Saturday on Sunday! I’m the one that had the elephants roostin’ in trees and all the ants wearin’ BVD’s! From the first to the last, I give ‘em the blast so fast that their life has passed before they even hit the grass! See me uptown, downtown, crowned and renowned! Delayed, relayed, mislaid and parlayed! Hatched, matched, snatched and scratched! Whacked, jacked, smacked, cracked, boot-blacked, blackjack, racetrack, and flapjack, and still comin’ back! I used an earthquake to mix my milkshake! I eat an avalanche when I want ice cream! I punched a hurricane and made it a breeze! I swallowed an iceberg and didn’t freeze! I chained down thunder and handcuffed lightning! I’m so damn strong, it’s sometimes frightening! I grabbed a star traveling a million miles a minute and slowed it down to the state speed limit! I may not be sleek, but women shriek when they see my physique!"


-Excerpt from the documentary: Dolemite.