My team's all trash, I'm wondering why I queued up a game at all
MMR goes out the window, and I can't CS at all
But even if I could twitch spams more memes, Envy's picture on my wall
He reminds me, that it's not so sad, it's not so sad, boys

Dear Artour, I wrote you but you still ain't calling
I left my twich, my twitter, and my steam name at the bottom
I sent two donations back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at twitch alerts or something
Sometimes I write messages too vulgar when I jot 'em
but anyways; ♥♥♥♥ it, what's been up? Man how's your team?
I've got a team, too, I'm bout to win RD2L
If I win a tourney, guess what I'ma say?
I'ma say "2EZ"
I read about your Uncle Peter, too, I'm sorry
I had a friend get salty over some team who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground ♥♥♥♥ that you did with Kaipi
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the ♥♥♥♥ you did with Speed, too, that ♥♥♥♥ was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to talk, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is chat


Dear RTC, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you play a scrim
I ain't mad - I just think it's ♥♥♥♥♥♥ UP you don't play on stream
If you didn't wanna respond to a donation meme
you didn't have to, but you coulda babyraged for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only 2k rank solo
We waited in the blistering queue for you,
four hours and you just said, "4head"
That's pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥ man - you're like his ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met in Seattle - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never won a valve LAN neither;
my offlanes are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and feeders,
so I can relate to what your sister says on stream,
so when I have a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game, I just watch you flame your team
'Cause I don't really got ♥♥♥♥ else so that ♥♥♥♥ helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo with SAD BOYS across the chest
Sometimes I even run down mid to see how much I can feed
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My subreddit's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But they don't know you like I know you artour, no one does
They don't know what it was like for people like us growing up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest ♥♥♥♥♥♥ you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Chat