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29 of 29 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

NotEvenRemotelyFair.WAD

Die within 5 seconds of starting a game on Selaco Must Fall difficulty
Unlocked 4 Jul @ 12:06pm

Marathon Runner

Take 15,000 steps in a single Campaign save
Unlocked 31 May @ 7:54pm

Reporting for duty!

Suit up
Unlocked 31 May @ 7:20am

Safe Heaven

Unlock your first Safe Room
Unlocked 31 May @ 11:31am

Pub Brawl

Start an argument at The Broken Seal
Unlocked 1 Jun @ 4:06pm

Power Overwhelming

Obtain the Railgun Prototype from Starlight
Unlocked 4 Jul @ 11:34am

Daily Bonus

Claim a free daily drink at the Mall
Unlocked 9 Jul @ 9:47pm

Little Plushy Man

Safely return Wilson the Bear to Dawn's home
Unlocked 2 Jul @ 1:36pm

AFK

Spend 1 hour inside a 'Xen Wellness Center' sauna without interruption
Unlocked 2 Jul @ 12:43pm

Crime Averted

Save a fish from suffocation
Unlocked 4 Jul @ 8:59am

Myth, busted!

Cause a toilet to explode without using explosives
Unlocked 31 May @ 10:55am

Humiliation!

Defeat a Juggernaut with your fists
Unlocked 4 Jul @ 6:20am

Death Incarnate

Kill 1,000 Enemies
Unlocked 4 Jul @ 9:01am

Buddy System

Buddy-up with Jonathan
Unlocked 2 Jul @ 3:25pm

Sharp and Shiny

Obtain all upgrades for a single weapon
Unlocked 4 Jul @ 9:17am

Sharp Shooter

Land a Headshot Kill from at least 70 meters away
Unlocked 30 Jun @ 5:07pm

Gwyn Simp

Spend at least 5000 Selver in a single Gwyn Machine session
Unlocked 9 Jul @ 11:43am

Unionize!

Get 100 Minimum-Wagers in Burger Flipper
Unlocked 1 Jul @ 9:30am

Humanity's Second Chance

Reach the streets
Unlocked 30 Jun @ 3:35pm

Homecoming

Visit Dawn's home
Unlocked 1 Jul @ 8:47am

Death Toll

Prevent a mutation from happening, by any means necessary
Unlocked 2 Jul @ 4:20pm

Paper Forever

Fight through the Liancria Office Complex
Unlocked 1 Jul @ 11:17am

Game Over!

Complete Chapter 1
Unlocked 4 Jul @ 12:02pm

DPS LFG

Obtain 1200 DPS at the Shooting Range in Punching Bag mode
Unlocked 9 Jul @ 3:36pm

Overkill

Kill an enemy with your Fists while having a Bunny Hopper, Protein Shake and Confidence Booster active
Unlocked 2 Jul @ 3:09pm

Save the World, bro!

Reach Level 10 in SPACE BRO
Unlocked 30 Jun @ 3:58pm

It's not a bug, it's a feature!

Trigger a Trash Tornado
Unlocked 1 Jul @ 3:35pm

Mozzarella Miracle!

Get very lucky by finding a full box of pizza
Unlocked 1 Jul @ 8:39am

Embrace The Chaos

Complete 'Pathfinder Memorial' with Randomizer Mode
Unlocked 1 Nov @ 12:19pm