Before I get into my own Sparknotes of who I am, please know that I know if you're a scammer. Go bother someone else. I also don't support gambling sites. You'll end up wasting your time if you are promoting them. Anyway...

Mah naim's Dabeetus. Ah liev in uh smahl hous wit to idiots. One gah lawst his arm ehn uh stoopud badl, ahnd dee uduh gah is a RACIST. Wun dai, aye gaht an auard fo been duh dumest purson ahn Erth. Ah remembah mah ekseptens spinach. Ah sed, "Ahd lahk to tank mah ma, mah da, da uhcadumee, ahnd da walls ehn mah haws. Tank u ver mutch." Ah hav mor impourtat tings tah du than deel wit tinee fa(s)t peepl. Ah ahsoh hav tahp tree dabeetus.