CrimsonBide's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2017 @ 5:47pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 12:17pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 11:38am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2017 @ 5:47pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 3:14pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 9:03pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 25 Aug, 2017 @ 10:24am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2017 @ 6:21pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 1 Sep, 2017 @ 5:28pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2017 @ 6:11pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 12 Nov, 2017 @ 11:41am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 1 Sep, 2017 @ 2:25pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 8:51pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 29 Aug, 2017 @ 4:06pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2017 @ 5:04pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2017 @ 6:38pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 31 Aug, 2017 @ 11:57am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2017 @ 4:20pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2017 @ 5:58pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2017 @ 5:48pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 10 Oct, 2017 @ 12:12pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 24 Aug, 2017 @ 8:38pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 9:39pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 8:51pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 8:32pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2017 @ 5:47pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 1 Sep, 2017 @ 2:24pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 26 Aug, 2017 @ 3:39pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2017 @ 4:55pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 8:57pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 12:04pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2017 @ 4:57pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2017 @ 4:16pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2017 @ 3:56pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2017 @ 4:40pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2017 @ 3:42pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 1 Sep, 2017 @ 5:29pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 11:57am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2017 @ 9:02am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 9:30pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 8:52pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 3:17pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2017 @ 6:18pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 9:07pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2017 @ 5:42pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2017 @ 3:46pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 8:33pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 25 Aug, 2017 @ 10:56am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 25 Aug, 2017 @ 10:57am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2017 @ 9:01am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2017 @ 7:29pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2017 @ 4:38pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2017 @ 4:14pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 8:30pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2017 @ 7:43pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 24 Aug, 2017 @ 8:41pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

8 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

30 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30