- rep I will never forget the day I met him. It was cloudy and I was wearing my iconic Grateful Dead shirt at the local churro stand (as is my proclivity). I don't listen to Grateful Dead, but I'm a fan.

He came up to me and whispered racist things about Italians, claiming they weren't smart enough to commit tax fraud and didn't wash their hands after pissing. I was in disbelief and couldn't speak.

I responded that I've met plenty of Italians that wash their hands after pissing, and that they even wash their hands after ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ despite never having to touch their genitals. He laughed in my face!

Before he left, he crushed my left kneecap with a tire iron and called me a "silly Billy," leaving without paying for his churro. I've turned to the police, Twitter, the IRS, and even witchcraft. I haven't been able to stop him and obtain my vengeance yet. One day I will see him again and prove to him that Italians DO wash their hands when they piss.

This is my story...

-rep, playing Counter Strike: Global Offensive he said it was potty time and walked to his bathroom, I politely asked him to mute his mic but he ignored my pleas as he began to consume a bag of Frito's™ while defiling our eardrums. He brapped and I heard the distinct sound of a tub of icecream smashing against porcelain, the crunch of Frito's™ harmonizing with the slapping. We lost.

I'm an official CS:GO athlete, and I'm looking for a girlfriend.

Being a hero is difficult: It takes courage, strength of character, and wit - that's exactly what I am: A hero. Ladies, you're in the awe-inspiring view of a man who has single handedly carried his esports team to victories. One man's actions can determine fate: Act as the enabler of a once thought impossible outcome - be the hero.
My name is frogunio, and I'm the protagonist in a world of competitiveness.
I'm looking for a partner in this sea of unacceptable specimens, and that might, very well, just be you. If you're interested, you must fulfill these requirements before DMing with romantic intentions.
Requirements to date me:
-120+ IQ.
-Maturity (specifically emotional maturity, although older women do tend to love me due to the sophistication I ooze).
-Willingness to fly to my country after 2 months of dating (we'll live together to determine if we're romantically compatible).

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