Recent reviews by zoomies

My thumbs are so buff after finishing this game.

Yeah don't buy this game right now (or probably ever).

Matchmaking is currently broken. The queue times sometimes take 10+ minutes to find a game. If you're playing in a group, your group will often get disbanded for no reason when a game ends, which means all players have to go back to the title screen and reload the game to be invited again for some reason.

The controls are a clunky mess, and most of the movement feels awful. The assassinate button is the same as the action button. Ah, you wanted to assassinate the enemy player? Sucks for you! Have fun picking up that chest/vaulting/climbing that ladder instead. Getting stuck in animations is common in this game, especially as melee characters, so you may not even get a chance to parry or block during combat. Speaking of which, parrying is literally pointless 90% of the time because the servers are so laggy it doesn't register. Headshots don't register half the time because of bad hit boxes or lag.

The combat is.. sometimes fun? I'd say it's more entertaining than necessarily good, as it can be hilarious watching bodies get yeeted across the map, or watching 3 people run around in a circle like chickens with their heads cut off trying to assassinate each other. It's mostly just great for a laugh with friends.

Parts of the game feel well thought-out, but most of the game-play decisions are baffling. Like the fact that the only thing that matters for winning is who winches at the end. The entire first two thirds of the match is mostly insignificant. Some of the maps are hugely imbalanced (I'm looking at you, swamp map). I don't think this game is the stealth game that the devs must have originally pictured, as it's marketed as a stealth multi-player game, but in reality it's just run around and smash people, and maybe get an assassination if you run in a circle enough.

Unfortunately there's so many issues with this game that I could never fit them all into a review, so The game can be fun sometimes just because it's so imbalanced and buggy. It's certainly playable, but you'll be yelling at yourself "WHY?!!?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??" at every turn. Do NOT buy it to play alone, as it's insufferable unless you're with a group of friends. I had fun for most of the few hours that I played it, but I can't recommend it and I think the player-base will drop off very quickly.

This game made me feel whole again.

Possible a good co-op game, fun with friends. The gun play and general combat are pretty fun. Unfortunately, there are so many bugs that it's almost impossible to play at times. Game constantly crashes, freezes, and loses connection to multiplayer games. I literally turned into an oilskin potion at one point. Wouldn't recommend it until the devs fix the connection and crash issues.

This game is really nice. Despite there being no combat, it still feels really full of things to do. The whole game is about exploring and interacting with the people in Eastshade. The world felt very alive and the voice acting and dialogue blended with the beautiful environments makes for a very charming experience. You can tell that the devs put a lot of love into every corner of this world. The quests all feel really unique, most of them allow you to get to know the world and it's residents better, instead of just being fetch quests. There is just enough guidance to get through most of the quests yourself without hand holding, although I did have to look things up a few times because I was lost. The progression is really cute, you need to paint, fish, work, forage, and help out residents to make money to buy items such as a coat, a zipline, a bike, boat, etc to progress to different areas in the game. If you've played games such as Skyrim, The Witcher 3, or FFXV and loved exploring just as much or more than the combat, then this game is for you.

However, there are a few big issues with this game. First and foremost, the optimization is awful. I have a good computer that should be able to run this with no problem, but throughout the game I was getting anywhere between 12 and 120 FPS, sometimes the frame drops were triggered by certain areas, and sometimes they seemed completely random. Secondly, there are still some crashes and bugs. I crashed about 3 or 4 times while playing through this game, most of the time on loading screens. I ran into a big bug with a certain achievement, specifically the "Family Reunited" achievement, that I cannot get despite finishing both of the quests associated with it. I see there are some other people with a problem with this achievement too. Another issue is that the graphics aren't actually quite as nice as they seem, as there are a lot of clipping issues and a lot of the foliage/flowers are just flat, although this didn't take much away from the game for me personally.

The game took me around 12 hours to 100% all of the quests while taking my time. This might be an issue for some people, and at almost $30 CAD I think it would have been nice to get a few more hours out of this game.

Overall I would recommend this game. This is a must buy on sale if you enjoy relaxing, pretty games like this. If not on sale, you'll have to decide if ~12 hours of gameplay is worth almost $30 for you.

WHO QA TESTED THIS GAME??? WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE STORY? WHERE AM I AND WHY IS THE CAMERA FORCING ME TO LOOK AT SOME RANDOM THING??? OH GOD TIME TO GET ON ANOTHER VEHICLE THAT'S JUST GONNA END UP BLOWING UP IN 3 SECONDS. HOW DO I DELETE THIS ITEM FROM MY INVENTORY? WAIT WHERE IS MY INVENTORY?? WHAT ARE ALL THESE BOXES ON MY UI, WHAT DO THEY MEAN???? ON NO NOT ANOTHER CHEESY CUTSCENE OH GOD WHYYYY OH GOD I'M GETTING MURDERED BY AN ENEMY IN THE CUTSCENE H E L P. OH WE GET TO PLAY AGAIN FOR 1 SECOND NVM HERE'S ANOTHER CUTSCENE SURPRISE QUICKTIME! PLAY AS EMINEM. I'M STUCK IN A DOOR LEONNNNNNNNNN. ENEMY IS ON A FLIGHT OF STAIRS SO I CAN'T HIT HIM. FIGHT THE SAME BOSS 6 DIFFERENT TIMES. WAIT, DID I EVEN HIT THE BOSS FOR HALF OF THOSE SHOTS OR WAS HE JUST INVULNERABLE???

ALWAYS SOMETHING WITH WOMEN!

For real though, don't buy this game at full price, and don't even try to play it without playing with a friend, because the only way you're going to have fun in it is laughing at how ridiculous it is. Just let the wild ride take you. DEBORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

it gud

A more optimized and nicer looking version of vanilla Skyrim, there's not much else to it.

Pros:
- Mouse movement has been improved drastically so it's actually playable with mouse and keyboard now.
- Runs better for me than the original Skyrim for sure.
- Updated textures, lots more foliage, and godrays to make everything look a bit prettier.
- You can actually alt+tab now.
- Free for people who already have Skyrim and all DLCs.

Cons:
- Still buggy as hell.
- Physics bugs persist and bodies go flying and get stuck in walls and doors.
- Had it black-screen on loading screens twice for me and had to restart my computer both times in the ~3 hours I played.
- A little disappointed considering how much they hyped it up.

Although this does run better for me personally than the original Skyrim did, my graphics card (GTX 960M) is well above the recommended level and I still get frame drops outside on Ultra High quality so I'm not sure what's going on there, I'll have to mess around with the settings. I have a few friends who couldn't even get the game to start, so I guess I'm lucky.

Overall I would recommend playing this over the older version if you are just buying and playing the game for the first time, or if you love the game and think you'll get lots of playtime out of it. If not, just stick with the old version as not much as changed.

Nice little classic space shooter with great music. Good to pick up as a quick time waster. Definitely worth the $1 or whatever it was. Has some nice Steam backgrounds too.

Very cute little clicker game. Buy plants and animals to create your own farm and then have weird blue dudes pick your crops. I'm really not one for clicker games but this one is surprisingly addictive and not as mind-numbing as a lot of other ones out on Steam. No microtransactions, so that's always a plus. It could also easily be expanded in the future to include more customizations and animals, etc.

My only complaints are that it gets a bit repetitive after the initial unlocks and there's not much else to look forward to or work towards after that, that's why I think some more things need to be added eventually to keep people playing after the first few hours. The other complaint is that there is a small spelling error on the "welcome back" screen in the English version.

Overall it's definitely worth giving it a shot at such a low price point even if clicker games aren't your favourites.