Kaiki: My name is Kaiki. I have a reservation

[Kaiki and Kanbaru are staring at each other from both sides of the table]

Kanbaru(her thoughts): Damn this man. First he talks about tea and now he's feeding me meat.

Kaiki: Come on, eat some meat. There's no point in requesting vegetables at a yakiniku place. If you want vegetables, go to a yaki-vegetable place.

Kaiki(intimidatingly): Leave it to me. I'll cook it for you.

[Kaiki places meat on the grill using a tong, the meat starts to sizzle, Kaiki places another one.]

Kanbaru(staring angrily at kaiki, in her thoughts): Damn it, why does this ass look like a good guy now?

Kaiki: You should eat meat when you are young. Meat is all a person needs to be happy, Gaen's child. Well, both the young and old have problems, but good meat can solve all these problems.

Kanbaru(her thoughts): Stop it, don't be nice to me. You're the enemy of the senpais I love. Don't say things that won't make me hate you.

[Kaiki flips the meat back and forth]

Kanbaru: I'd rather you didn't call me "Gaen's child". It's a weird name.

Kaiki: Hmm, I understand, you're right. But I resent calling you "Kanbaru". It isn't the name "Gaen".

[Kaiki places the meat on Kanbaru's plate]

Kaiki: That will mean calling you "Suruga". Is that right?

Kanbaru: Better than "Gaen's child".

Kaiki: Very well. Then, Suruga, eat your meat. Meat must be eaten while it's hot.

[Kanbaru nervously looking at Kaiki proceeds to thank for the food]

Kanbaru: Itadakimasu

[Kanbaru then picks up the chopsticks in a formal manner and eats the meat]

Kaiki(Surprised) Ho? You're right-handed, Suruga? Gaen was left-handed, or perhaps you're only using your right hand because you left hand is injured?

[Kanbaru continues to eat]

Kaiki: Is there any other meat you'd like?

Kanbaru(her thoughts): He was sort of like a surly but kind relative. Give me a break, do something that will make me hate you.

Kanbaru: What do you want? Didn't you want to talk to me?

Kaiki: Yes, that's right. Now that you mentioned it, that's right. I'm sure you've already realized this, Suruga. I knew your mother. Um, actually, wait, last August, did you meet your aunt? Her name is "Gaen Izuko".

Kanbaru(Shaking her head): No, she uses a different name around me. I only realized her last name was "Gaen" after she left town.

Kaiki: Ah, that sounds like her.

Kaiki(Placing another piece of meat on the grill) I never got along with Izuko, but your mother helped me out quite a lot. We met by chance when I was even younger than you. We kept in touch until university. Well, she was like a mentor.

[Kaiki eats a piece of meat]

Kaiki: Gaen asked me to take care of you if something happened to her.

[The fire on the grill crackles]

Kanbaru(Suprised): My mom asked you that?

Kaiki: I only recently heard that Gaen had died, and I heard that her child was taken in by the grandparents on her husband's side.

Kanbaru: Was that why you came to town last year?

Kaiki: Actually, it's the opposite, you were a secondary concern. Gaen never paid me anything, so there was no reason for me to do that. While I was there, I just happened to check on you.

Kanbaru: Were you in love with my mother?

Kaiki(With lack of respect): Hmph, that's the problem with kids, they want everything to have romance.

[Kaiki places another piece of meat on the grill]

Kanbaru: But you call her "Gaen". From what you said, by the time you met, she should have used the name "Kanbaru". Isn't that because you didn't want to accept the fact that she married? Because "Kanbaru" was your rival's name.

[The meat continues to sizzle]

Kaiki(Slightly annoyed): How stupid...

[Kaiki crosses his arms]

Kaiki: But, I suppose I could compliment your insight.

[Kanbaru grunts]

Kaiki: You're pretty close, yes, in university, I was in love with your mother. She was a wonderful woman. Well, at the time, I had a girlfriend of my own, so I never got anywhere with her, don't worry.

[The meat begins to overcook as Kaiki continues speaking]

Kaiki: It's only a memory. A memory not worth a cent.

Kanbaru: Am I like my mother?

Kaiki: I couldn't say. It's been nearly fifteen years since I last saw her. I suppose, given that you're her child, you're more like her than not. But I remember her face less than you do.

Kanbaru: You forgot the face of the girl you loved?

Kaiki(Looking up): You see, I'm a cold man.

[Kaiki places the burnt meat on his plate]

Kaiki: Either way, Suruga, I'm glad to see that Gaen's child is doing well. That left hand of yours isn't hurt at all, is it?

Kanbaru(Surprised)" Eh?

[Kaiki gives Kanbaru A business card then retracts it to write something down. The card reads out Kaiki Deishu with a crossed out label saying "Ghostbuster".]

Kanbaru: What is that?

Kaiki: Well, I don't think you'll need it. But if you ever do, call me. After all, I suppose I did promise her that I'll help you out.

Kanbaru(Intimidatingly): Are you trying to con me? Like Senjougahara-Senpai?

Kaiki(with a straight face): No, I won't con you.

[Kanbaru looks at Kaiki, unsure]

Kaiki: You respect your senpai, don't you, Suruga? If you don't stay on-guard and try to hate me, if you don't continue to despise me, you'd feel like betraying the senpai you love. But it's impossible, I won't con you, and I have no intention of doing you harm. So you can't hate me. Just as you can never guarantee that the person you like will like you back, you can never guartantee that the person you hate will hate you.

[The grill crackles again]

Kaiki: Nor is it always possible that they'll let you hate them. We aren't characters in manga, there's no human who is all bad, there's no human who is all evil. No one has the same personality when viewed from all angles, and no one has the same personality all the time. You are good at running, but you don't run every single instant, do you? You walk, and you sleep. It's the same thing. I love money, but i also use that money. Sometimes, I might be kind to someone, even if I have no particular reason to be.

[The grill continues to sizzle]

Kanbaru: If I have a problem... Call you, huh?

Kaiki: Yes, I'll be able to con most people for you.

Kanbaru(Slightly frustrated): I don't want to contact you for that. But I'll accept the offer.

[The wood sizzles even more]

Kaiki: What's wrong? You stopped eating your meat. Meat, meat... meat, meat, meat! Beef, beef, pork, chicken. Beef, beef, organ, organ. Eat it in that order. You are a little too thin, eat your meat, and fatten up. Well, you shouldn't come to me for help if you can avoid it, that's for sure. But it's better to ask me for help than the monkey's paw.

[Kanbaru acts shocked]

Kaiki: Your mother left you a mummified monkey's paw, right? Just in case, I'll say this. Never use it. Someone will arrive to take it soon. Give it to them.

Kanbaru(Confused): To take it?

Kaiki: Yeah, they're called a collector. Someone trying to collect all the parts of a devil. They'll try to steal the monkey's paw. Let me give you some advice, if they show up, give it to them.

[The wood continues to sizzle and crackle]

Kanbaru(looking down): Sure... Okay. If this collector appears, I should give them the had she gave me, right?

Kaiki(staring blankly in front of Kanbaru): Now then, looks like you won't be able to enjoy your meal with my gloomy face around.

[Kaiki takes off his bib, stands up and leaves a stack of money on the table]

Kaiki(Standing up): I'm leaving, enjoy yourself. Order another plate or two. Meat... eat meat! Meat. Bye.

[Kaiki slowly walks out of the room]

Kanbaru(rashly): W-wait!

Kaiki(turning around) Hmm?

Kanbaru(unknowing of what to say): U-um, well...

Kaiki: What's wrong? Did you fall in love with me?

[Kanbaru makes a unsettling face]

[There's no more space to carry on]