When I was 8 I tried to inflate my penis with a soccer ball pump. I'd heard of penis pumps but looking back I didn't quite understand the concept.
I stuck the needle into my urethra and inflated a few pushes. It gave me A half chub and a strong urge to urinate. I tried to go per but I just kinda farted out of my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and the per splattered everywhere like a sprinkler. 20 years later I get sharp pains randomly when I urinate.