demi-fart's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2016 @ 4:59pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 4:56pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2016 @ 4:47pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 5:12pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2016 @ 5:10pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 4:54pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2016 @ 9:48am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2016 @ 4:25pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2016 @ 4:03pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2016 @ 1:13pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2018 @ 10:26am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2018 @ 11:30am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 6 Nov, 2016 @ 11:31am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2016 @ 10:25am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2016 @ 12:33pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2016 @ 2:12pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2016 @ 2:47pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2016 @ 11:32am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2016 @ 5:24pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2023 @ 7:15am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2016 @ 5:37pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2016 @ 11:24am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2016 @ 3:27pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 5:18pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2016 @ 5:24pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2016 @ 11:06am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2016 @ 10:32am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2021 @ 2:31pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2021 @ 2:45pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2021 @ 5:51pm

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Unlocked 25 May, 2022 @ 9:42am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2018 @ 11:33am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 1 May, 2020 @ 2:41pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2016 @ 4:47pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2021 @ 2:35pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 6:11pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2016 @ 3:23pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 25 Aug, 2018 @ 5:39pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2016 @ 10:42am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 25 May, 2022 @ 9:18am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2016 @ 5:14pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 5:01pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2016 @ 4:47pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 6:21pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2016 @ 9:51am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 4:57pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2016 @ 10:42am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 24 May, 2022 @ 2:39pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2016 @ 5:31pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 4:49pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2016 @ 10:41am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2021 @ 9:22pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2016 @ 1:47pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2021 @ 6:15pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 3 Sep, 2019 @ 6:32pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2023 @ 1:01pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2023 @ 2:53pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2023 @ 5:44pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2023 @ 7:58pm

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2023 @ 7:58pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2023 @ 1:46pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2023 @ 2:59pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2023 @ 5:13pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2016 @ 1:34pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 1 May, 2020 @ 3:11pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

26 / 30

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30