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Why I Quit Pissing in The Sink - My Story
For a time, I was an avid sinkpisser. I probably went over a year without pissing in the potty. It was so easy to unbuckle my pants, and let that meat log hit the edge of the bowl with a smack. The sink was always perfect pissing height too. No splash. But then I started running into problems that threatened the longevity of the piss. You see, I would shut the drain hatch, so I could look upon my creation. One time I even pissed blood. But the white bowl white start to get these stains on the inside. I could never explain this if my parents asked. To this day, there are stains, and I must confess I have largely given up the sinkpissing ways. I do however, still do it in public bathrooms or if I'm at someone else's house, so I guess I didn't entirely quit. This is my story.

Eating mustard with Oreos? Not in my Godd4mn Country.
To the Buffoons behind the USA Today crossword puzzle, Today's (2/12/20) clue for 10 down was "Cookie that some people eat with mustard", i eventually filled in "OREO." I was confused but willing to admit my ignorance for the sake of completing your godforsaken puzzle, and then i tried it. you bastards. I Would hope that given the cultural influence of the USA today crossword puzzle, the puzzle masters would exert some sort of quality review for their clues, oreos and mustard?---I can now inform you with learned experintial certainty---are WRETCHED. I would be very appreciative if you would kindly refund $0.14---the exact cost of the 4 Altoids i had to consume to get the taste out of my mouth---to my venmo. i'm willing to forgive the cost of the oreo:$0.18. the mustard was free. get your godd4m Mustard Out of my oreos you sick bastards.