Imagine looking through old photo\s and finding one where you're genuinely happy, confident, and full of life. You remember how you felt in that moment-Unstoppable, like the world was yours to conquer. But as you put the photo down, you realize the version of you feels distant, almost like a different person. You've lost touch with spark, and now, instead of being the one who lights up the room, your watching from the sidelines. The thought of never getting that version of you back, of never feeling alive again, hits hard. Its a realization that if you don't change something now, that person might be lost forever.

Act 1: In a world full of hate and purity to be foreseen. The life can’t just be grown just like a flower, it’s more like the hate that you succumb to. Or to the happiness you can get from having all these wonderful friends. But in the end, an individual will always have the hardships of life, whether he/she likes but can overcome these will depend on that person’s place or time.

But why must i honestly suffer in this world of darkness and light. I have these Friends that can either be real or fake through the fabric of space that can deceive so easily. But In the end, I will always be alone. And will either be struck by the hand of Betrayal or raised by the Hand of Hope.

One day I will find that person who will heal those holes in my life, till then I shall hope the river of life will lead me to the happiness of life, or the Darkness of Depression, for I will accept when that comes along.

Act 2: When a new chapter is revealed to the world, you tend to change to the will of other's to just fit in. Because in this new world, not everyone is meant to be at the top. But for me this is another chapter of my life is just about begin, or so i hope.... but then again life is just frustrating cycle of Hate and Happiness, for me this is just an occurring action towards me, whether its friends, family or some stranger...Someone always hate me for just being there.

Act 3: Honestly after so long, only so much can really be done bout mentality, but after that point its really hard to pull back to that level of happiness. And its because of self-judging personality some people have like myself, were i want to push my self back to that state of being happy and enjoy life, but after so many thoughts and thinking, maybe its not worth it anymore. And maybe i think like this because i genuinely have finally given up on trying to strive and be the best i can. Well if anyone reads this, sorry because i finally have given up.

Act 4: An ephiany of idea's are swirl in ones mind, can make you at ease or pain. It just bewilders beyond someones excitement or depression. Swirl me around as my feelings are true, gone and desperate. But alas i realize that ill never beyond good enough once more to my own designs. But then again ill never hope to reach those heights, not till the day i pass away in that bed that will claim my dreams forever. So please may I find that refuge that will shelter me till that grandoise day. For I dont have the courage to do it myself anymore.

Sometimes the pain is just a temporary happiness,
Until it fades into the past like life,
Until its fully enveloped you,
Making you feel whole until its evaporates,
And when that happens you truly dont know how to feel,
Except to cry and fake yourself,
And until you relize you'll live this fake life,
Telling others your fine but reality your not,
Lying to others to feel empathy,
But why you do it?
For you yourself dont even know,
But alas you push on to not worry others,
At the same time hurting yourself is the only salvation,
Whether its self harm, drinking or sleeping,
It just varys perso to person.