"Fake legacy/hacker/cheater."
Yeah sure I hack video games on my 11 year old account. You got me.

"You suck at X game lol."
I play for fun, not just to improve at playing. I don't really care about winning or losing at the end of the day. If you're just going to be a sore winner/loser, maybe rethink your life a bit.

"You didn't play the way I wanted you to!!11!11!!!1!! "
My job isn't to make you happy, sorry. Unless we were on the same team and I screwed up somehow, in which case sorry. I try my best.

"You're cringe/I hate you/♥♥♥"
Unless you're my boss your opinion has no impact on my life, and you're a dumbass for thinking otherwise.

"You seem like a cool guy! We can be friends in future games <3"
Sure. But the second I smell a scam of any kind you'll be blocked and unfriended faster than you can say "I accidentally reported your account."

"Your internet sucks get ethernet nerd."
I know, I'm working on it.

"What is the cubed root of 27?"
3.

"̵͇̞͑P̷͉̦͝h̴͓̙̓'̵͇̭̒n̷̝̄͜g̶̢̯̈́ľ̵̫̾û̸͇̟i̸̩̬̎̍ ̴̫̋͠ͅm̶̫̮̏ḡ̷̗l̷̡͘w̴͈͈͛'̷̻̥̂̆n̶͈̗̅͋á̸͝ͅf̴̘̈́́h̶̩̍ ̷̩̊C̸̪̮̆t̸̨͇̊̌h̸̩̆͌u̵̹͐̕l̸̢̊h̶͇͗̿ṵ̸͇̚ ̶̬̓̕Ṟ̷̙̀̀'̴̤̂̚l̶̤̜̚y̴̤̤͌̀e̴̺̍̂h̴̳̲͊͋ ̶̨̈̽w̷̠̝͛g̶̼̊̽a̸͙̋ͅh̸̲̣̔'̶̨̻͐ṇ̶̉ạ̴̈̉g̶̖͊l̸̲̾͘ ̸̧͍̂͛f̴̨̐̐h̶̫͖͂̉t̴͓͒a̸̼̻̓ḡ̸͈͖n̵̢͈̆̐"̷̙̭͒
I like your funny words magic man!

"Why did you write this much ♥♥♥♥?"
Idk lol I thought it would be funny.

"As promised. Heavy will now lay egg. In your mouth."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

"Solve for x, y, and z: x³+y³+z³=42"
x = -80538738812075974, y = 80435758145817515, and z = 12602123297335631.

"What's 2+2?"
22?

"What's your favorite Scp?"
SCP-3125.

"What... is your favorite color?!"
Blue. NO! GREE- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuugh...

"Jack is looking at Anne. Anne is looking at George. Jack is married, George is not, and we don’t know if Anne is married. Is a married person looking at an unmarried person?"
Yes. If Anne is married, then she is married and looking at George, who is unmarried. If Anne is unmarried, then Jack, who is married, is looking at her. Either way, the statement is correct.

"Latest ♥♥♥♥♥♥ meme trend."
*Latest ♥♥♥♥♥♥ meme trend response.*

"What's your favorite game?"
It's hard to choose as the game I tend to enjoy shifts rapidly. I guess the game I've derived the most enjoyment from was Undertale but then the fandom happened and that kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. I'm eternally fascinated by Fromsoftware games and Tf2 will always hold a special place in my heart since it's the first game I ever played on Steam and what got me into games in the first place. Then again I've been with DBD since the very beginning and I have a certain Sunk cost fallacy attachment to it. Can't say for sure. My badge collection down below lists all the games that I've consistently enjoyed playing (sometimes).

"If, hypothetically, you were, hypothetically, trapped on a hypothetical island with nothing but one, hypothetical, book, what, hypothetical, book would you, hypothetically, pick?"
"How to survive on a hypothetical island and ignore stupid hypothetical questions from hypothetical people who hypothetically exist and overuse commas."

"All mimsy were the borogoves."
And the mome rathes outgrabe.

"Do you really expect people to read this entire thing?"
Lol no. If you got this far leave the message "Spoon" in my comments I guess.

"Why a spoon?"
BECAUSE IT WILL HUUUUUUUUUURT MOOOOOORE!

"I did not understand that reference."
Google is your friend. The search engine, not the corporation. Those bastards are no friend of anyone who has a soul.

What is objectively the best weapon in the entirety of Dark Souls 3?"
Valorheart and it's not even close.

"Wtf do you mean Valorheart sucks your opinion is bad-"
*R1's and trades with your insult with using my pseudo-poise block frames to kill you where you stand.*