Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human ♥♥♥♥. Means it can take ♥♥♥♥ all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

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After some good games in Dota 2, I added him because he seemed like a good player. We got chatting and over the next couple months had good banter and greater games.

He invited me to his house for a Dota LAN party and said the whole crew would be there with some pizza, so I came over, looking forward to meet him IRL.

When I arrived at his house, no one else was there, and no pizza either. Before I could ask him what was up, he forcefully pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, I felt his hard schlong push against my thigh. I punched him and then 1 tapped him, turns out he was gay all along.

DON'T TRUST THIS GUY!

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