Why just one holy paladin? When I have players who want to be evil, just to be evil, I break out Heaven’s Holy Hit Squad. A group of five Paladins who go out searching for evil to smite. I use a different oath for each of them, and I’m not afraid to have them stack smites on smites on smites. They’re as tanky as can be, what with heavy armor and healing spells, so I only use them when the players get too full of themselves.

My players who have faced them in combat, generally seek to never do it again, as I’m not afraid to have the Paladins use tactics and intelligence. If you don’t want to kill your players, put the fear of the gods in them, and have Heaven’s Holy Hit Squad be that which does it to them. Maybe they feel merciful that day, however it’d be a good way to remind the players they can both lose, AND if the player in question pushes the issue, well, the Vengeance Paladin doesn’t mind executions.

Hello muddah
hello faddah
Greetings from camp
Marijuana
Big bud's good here
Hash is better
I'm so stoned that I can hardly write this letter

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3SPOOKY5ME

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

Hey if you're still down I'd love to, you know, do that thing again 😘😜

big oof