21
Products
reviewed
6119
Products
in account

Recent reviews by WoogieMonsutā

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Showing 1-10 of 21 entries
18 people found this review helpful
6 people found this review funny
2
1,219.0 hrs on record
CDPR Representative Declares their Current Treatment of Customers is "INSULTING"

Despite being subject to overwhelmingly negative backlash since its very first issue, Cyberpunk 2077's "It's All About You" series brought forth amazing insight with its latest publication when conversations lead to a staffer making a rather surprising statement.

After being encouraged to view the current state of the game & the studio's level of communication from the standpoint of the paying customers, they not only conceded that this recent & currently ongoing behavior is "INSULTING," but took an even more firm stance and asserted that if they themselves were subjected to the exact same situation, they would absolutely NOT tolerate it:
https://gtm.you1.cn/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2824928689

Currently the game has stagnated in a frankly laughable condition (assuming you find garbage amusing) and most disgusting of all, customers with accessibility and/or handicap needs remain unable to even play "for the lulz" as the game inexplicably continues to disable & lock PC Windows integrated accessibility functions. Launched in 2020 for $60USD, many customers are still wondering how long are we to wait before we can progress the game beyond the title menu.

There is some good news though, I've confirmed that most common Idle-bots can at least get time.
Posted 23 June, 2022.
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21 people found this review helpful
8 people found this review funny
0.7 hrs on record
Using a videogame to see snow on a tree because it's 80 degrees outside a week before Xmas. I might not be smart enough to put it together, but I still know there's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ message here.
Posted 18 December, 2021.
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6 people found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
1.0 hrs on record
It's always refreshing to see a company learn their lesson from overwhelmingly anti-customer behaviour and change their ways for the better. For example, look right here: Konami has demonstrated that they learned & changed from the torrentially negative backlash of charging customers $10 for each slot to save their game, and have even released a beloved game as a free online multiplayer experience. I, for one, am very excited for my friends to login so we can... wait, what?

OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE ♥♥♥♥ING KIDDING ME!!!!
Posted 27 May, 2021.
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15 people found this review helpful
22 people found this review funny
2
3.3 hrs on record
I'm pretty sure I've just been punished for something I did in a previous lifetime.

The experience of trying to play this abomination is tantamount to being water-boarded during dental surgery while lying on a patch of gympie bushes infested with cazadors and failing to pass a kidney-stone due to fear-induced paralysis from the knowledge that in the shadows of this abyssal hellscape of agony, Annie Wilkes has just located her favorite hammer and still you don't dare take yours eyes off the pack of rabid cocaine-fueled squirrels who are intently focused on your exposed dangling nuts.

And THEN the worst part: the game actually starts.
Posted 11 April, 2021.
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56 people found this review helpful
22 people found this review funny
2
3
0.2 hrs on record
CONS

  • People in Flint Michigan still don't have clean drinking-water
  • There is a mass shooting every single week in the U.S.
  • Every 3 months in the U.S., a new bill becomes law, removing more of women's health-care options
  • Every day significantly large areas of the planet are on fire, burning out-of-control
  • Forced child-labor and slave-labor workcamps still exist
  • "This non-existent, imaginary character has been artistically depicted with a realistically-sized body"

PROS

  • It functions better than that other cyberpunk game
  • Developer refused to redesign / censor their art-style for the appeasement of "outrage culture"
  • Studio told twiiter harassment-mob to eat a d!ck
Posted 3 January, 2021. Last edited 3 January, 2021.
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1,431 people found this review helpful
34 people found this review funny
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2,863.8 hrs on record (2,863.5 hrs at review time)
"We’re proud to announce a major change coming to Torchlight, making it the true successor to Torchlight I & II. That’s right, Torchlight Frontiers is now Torchlight III!"
~The Torchlight III Team

In retrospect it feels silly, embarrassing, to realize that they meant that statement quite literally. For those who might be a bit confused: Torchlight Frontiers was a free / mobile-styled MMO set in a Torchlight-themed world. The game was a catastrophic failure, and in its death-throws the developer changed the name to Torchlight III, gave it a pricetag, and came crawling back to Steam telling the fans that they've changed back to the gameplay of the first two games.

There is a sizable and devout fanbase for the Torchlight series eager to "throw all the monies" at a new game, and I count myself among the masses, but thankfully any ingame real-cash shenanigans are NOT present here. But in nearly every other way possible, you will be constantly reminded that this was/is a free MMO (that costs $40usd). Treasure chests falling from the sky with chosen loot bouncing out from the impact, goals being accomplished by how much you play rather than giving you specific tasks, getting your ass kicked in the background because the game did not pause when you opened a menu, and many many more mechanics that are more at home on a smartphone than on a singleplayer offline PC or console game. It is intensely off-putting. And I'm not even going to rant (any more) about the "Mailbox" feature (which I personally railed against throughout the Early Access period) that is this game's variation of the FOMO effect (Fear Of Missing Out, to get special rewards for participating online).

There are people more qualified / adept than myself who can & have done very specific breakdowns of the game's features, and by contrast, its lack thereof, so I won't waste time on it. I just have to reiterate one last time: this is not Torchlight 3, it is Frontiers the disastrously flopped MMO, retitled but betrayed visually, spiritually, mechanically, and even by the names on the Files & Folders in the install directory. I suppose they dodge the backlash of misleading customers, because they technically told the truth right from the start: "Frontiers is now Torchlight III."
Posted 13 October, 2020.
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15 people found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
0.5 hrs on record
Catastrophically Stupid Oversight

Although the game offers a key-rebind menu, the developer made the mindblowing choice to hard-lock the mouse-2 button (for most people this is the "right-click" button) to the game's Cancel and Exit commands yet they lacked either the foresight or the ability to separate these functions from the game's player-controls.

The result of this staggering ineptitude is that when you attempt to "swap" the gameplay controls from right-handed to left-handed, your changes will cancel and exit when you press the button, even though the onscreen prompt is asking for input.
Think you can somehow circumvent this with your "fancy gaming mouse?" No. The game also does not recognize anything more advanced than a standard left/right button mouse because it's apparently 1998.

A quick forum-search reveals that numerous customers have been requesting support for both "modern" mouse button ability and left-handed key rebinding since the game launched: and every request at the time of this post, has gone ignored by the developer with zero replies.

No game is worth carpel-tunnel, especially not one that ignores its customers begging for help, for months.
Posted 29 June, 2020.
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75 people found this review helpful
71.3 hrs on record
Early Access Review
Dev is starting to panic about the increase in people calling out this obvious scam, so rather than even feign an attempt to address any of the numerous concerns over their fake screenshots of nonexistent content, and their make-believe beta-tests that mysteriously don't have a single participant, now they're perma-banning people and sanitizing the Steam HUB. Certainly the rational behavior of an "honest" dev.

Edit: Right on queue...
https://gtm.you1.cn/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2076690334
Posted 27 April, 2020. Last edited 27 April, 2020.
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6,362 people found this review helpful
886 people found this review funny
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7,261.6 hrs on record
On January 9th, without warning, explanation, or justification, and lacking all sense of logic, Capcom forcefully reset customizable ingame key-binds and removed the ability to rebind them. These new forced and locked key-binds are extremely biased in favor of right-hand-dominant, able-handed persons and can not be remapped or swapped. However, as this function has been revoked from PC keyboard/mouse customers, it has been ADDED for console controllers.

Capcom has yet to address or even acknowledge this change.

If you are left-handed, handicapped, or for other reasons require customizable mouse/keyboard functions, Capcom has forcefully revoked the ability for you to play this game anymore.
Posted 19 January, 2020.
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38 people found this review helpful
9 people found this review funny
0.0 hrs on record
On January 9th, without warning, explanation, or justification, and lacking all sense of logic, Capcom forcefully reset customizable ingame key-binds and removed the ability to rebind them. These new forced and locked key-binds are extremely biased in favor of right-hand-dominant, able-handed persons and can not be remapped or swapped. However, as this function has been revoked from PC keyboard/mouse customers, it has been ADDED for console controllers.

Capcom has yet to address or even acknowledge this change.

If you are left-handed, handicapped, or for other reasons require customizable mouse/keyboard functions, Capcom has forcefully revoked the ability for you to play this game anymore.
Posted 13 January, 2020. Last edited 19 January, 2020.
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Showing 1-10 of 21 entries