A game about space in which your ship is nothing more than set-dressing for storage containers and an optional, extremely simplistic, arcade style mini-game where fly your ship in a line while holding the trigger long enough for every AI to blow themselves up by flying directly into your path.

A game about exploration that delivers the thrill of opening your menu, selecting the fast travel option, clicking to fast travel to a star system, loading, then opening your menu, clicking to fast travel to a planet, loading, then answering the same NPC dialogue at every planet before you're treated to another loading screen to finally land on planet.

An immersive RPG in which every door in every colony is a loading screen and firing an infinite stream of bullets around citizens heads in the middle of the city is apparently just another Tuesday in America for the New Atlantians as they, completely unbothered by the frag grenades going off all around them, continue to partake in every colonists favorite activity -- walking aimlessly into walls.

A game which offers swashbuckling adventures in which successfully stealing a ship is as easy as killing 5 brainless NPCs. The payoff is possibly the most accurate Gamestop trade-in simulator ever made. It costs 20k to "register" the ship, the ship only sells for 22k and once you've collected your pittance, you'll see the exact same ship on the market with an asking price of 500k from the guy that gave you 2k for it.

A game bursting with content in which each outpost and mission are functionally the same as the first 10 you play and you'll be asked to do them all 100+ times with almost zero variation. Honestly, after the first 20 hours, Starfield practically begs you to save yourself 120GBs of storage space and forget it exists.

A gripping story-line in which every character is as exciting as the bread isle in the grocery store and none of your choices matter. Seriously, exactly which brand of white bread you take home with you from the grocery store has more serious consequences than literally any decision Starfield asks the player to make. "White or Wheat?" is a more thrilling dilemma than anything in Starfield's narrative.

A ground-breaking new IP that tries its hardest to be exactly like its sister IPs while utterly failing to deliver a fraction of their charm or greatness. This is easily the most disappointing Bethesda title ever made, including "Elder Scrolls Blades," because at least no one cared about, wanted, or had any expectations for a mobile title. It genuinely feels like, at some point in development, the list of "Good Ideas for Starfield," and "Bad Ideas for Starfield," got swapped and they made the worst possible version of Starfield that could be made.

The absolute best that can be said of this title is that it really is one of the games of all time.