CHINA NUMBA ONE!!!

Day 3 without having a PC:

I'M EATING THE CHAIR

I genuinely couldn't be bothered to peruse the entirety of that. Would you be able to peruse it to me? Like, make a TL;DR and idiotic it down, yet in addition clarify the entire story. I didn't peruse it since it is a lot for me to peruse. Original Poster has my downvote for not making a TL;DR for me. Just an excessive amount of text to peruse brother, to an extreme. Truly, excessively long and I can't envision perusing the entirety of that, to an extreme! It is a lot for me to peruse, and I need assistance understanding it, simply please assist me with perusing the entirety of that, it needs perusing and you have to make a TL;DR for me, else I'll downvote you, lol loser.

I take it you ate the Tide pod.

Do everyone a favor and eat a Tide pod.

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⠀⣞⠉⢁⡀⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⢀⠃⠀⠀
⠀⣻⡇⠸⡇⢸⣎⠳⠤⠤⢤⠴⠾⠏⢑⣒⣒⣒
⠀⢹⢻⡄⢿⣌⠈⠉⠈⣽⠏⠀⠀⢺⢱⣤⣠⣢
⢀⠞⠀⠙⠳⣝⢦⣴⣻⡅⢀⣀⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⡀⠀⠀⢰⡟⠻⠦⣽⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠙⣄⠀⠈⣷⡀⠀⢯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠹⣆⠀⢸⣷⡄⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣠⠟⢀⡾⠁⣻⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢰⡇⢀⡾⠁⠀⠉⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢸⢁⣻⣓⣲⢦⣻⣮⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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