Fellas, I gotta confess: I'm down bad. I, uhh, got caught.. peeing in the sink. I don't think that's weird, it's a... victimless crime. Just like punching someone in the dark. If the sink is so forbidden to urination, then why is it placed so perfectly, reducing my hesitation. But, uhh, I feel embarrassed. No, not because I did it, but because I got caught. I'm not gonna stop, I will only just get better. For the future, I'm gonna trick-shot my stream around the sink bowl. That's a... silent projectile. Effectively, I'm applying a suppressor to my "gun barrel". That way, members of my family cannot ambush me so easily. And I will NOT be shamed by people who immediately revert to authoritarian, fascist statements such as: "we have two toilets, why did you use the sink"? Listen. I saved water. I saved lives. Maybe, a few decades from now, there'd be entire villages in sub-Saharan Africa, singing songs of praise, over how much water I saved. And you know what? all I had to do was unload my fire-hose in the kitchen sink.