(At Jerry’s apartment)


Jerry: “I got a bottle of Scotch my uncle gave me, Hennigan’s. It’s been there two years. I’ve been using it as a paint thinner.”

Kramer: “That is damn good Scotch. I could do a commercial for this stuff.”

Kramer: “Boy, that Hennigan goes down smooth, and afterwards, you don’t even smell.”

Kramer: “That’s right, folks. I just had three shots of Hennigan’s, and I don’t smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That’s Hennigan’s, the no-smell, no-tell Scotch.”

“Say you got a big job interview and you’re a little nervous. Well, throw back a couple of shots of Hennigan’s, and you’ll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it’s odorless, why, it’ll be our little secret.” (singing) “H, E, double-N, I...”

Jerry: “Kramer, Kramer, yeah, that’ll do.”

(Later at the Diner)

Jerry: “You had sex with the cleaning woman on your desk? Who are you? How did you do that?”

George: “Hennigan’s.”

Jerry: “Hennigan’s?”

George: “I was sitting there in the office, and the cleaning woman comes in. I’ve always been attracted to cleaning women. Cleaning women, chambermaids...”

Jerry: “Yeah, chambermaids, I’m attracted to them too.”

George: “Why is that?”


Jerry: “It’s a woman in your room. So go ahead.”

George: “So, she starts vacuuming, back and forth, back and forth, her hips swiveling, her breasts...”

Jerry: “Convulsing?”

George: “Convulsing?”

Jerry: “I don’t know. I’m trying to help you.”

George: “So then I asked her if she wanted a drink.”

Jerry: “You don’t drink.”

George: “I know, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say.”

Jerry: “So you started drinking.”

George: “So we started drinking, and I don’t know if it was the alcohol or the ammonia, but the next thing I knew, she was mopping the floor with me.”

Jerry: “And how was it?”

George: “The sex was okay, but I threw up from the Hennigan’s.”

Jerry: “Good thing the cleaning lady was there.”