Toronto rapper Drake was recently arrested at a local apple picking event for sticking his member inside the fruit grinder, an action that shut down the event early, left dozens of shocked onlookers confused and appalled, and required an entire firefighter brigade to untangle. 'I just wanted to be in cider," the embattled musician told the press, before he was whisked away to the hospital for replantation surgery. "I just can't believe it happened for a second year in a row," one local told us. Read more...

when the ♥♥♥♥ did you figure this out Mr. Do No Evil?!?!? Got damn, i appreciate your signs and your leadership in guiding my emotions. I'd love to play some more DnD with you sometime!

IF YOU DIED TOMORROW I WOULDN'T BE AT YOUR FUNERAL BECAUSE I'D BE WATCHING

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I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥ing ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

https://i.imgur.com/8g6T9tG.png

I thought playing DOTA with my friends is just a way to have quality time with each other, but I was wrong. My friends suddenly transform when they get their hands on the keyboard! They started swearing and trash talking each other. Bullying and abusing weaker players are frightfully very common. By the time we get out from the computer shop, bitterness, blaming, and bullying does not stop. This is one of the main reasons that I and my friends decided not to play the game anymore. DOTA is not fun, it is frustrating and humiliating.