I’ve noticed at work when people go to poop they are in and out real quick. Where as I on the other hand take what it seems like twice as long. Most of that time is usually wiping, I wipe until everything is squeaky clean and I wonder how people finish wiping so fast. Perhaps they have cleaner poops than me? Or they aren’t methodical wipers?

Edit: My doctor loosened up my anus real good for me. Now my turds just fall right out in the morning and my farts sounds like a calm autumn breeze

جزاك الله خيرا كثيرا وبارك الله فيك

I am a New Yorker. I wake up at 5am every day of the week in my 50 square foot run down apartment in Harlem where the rent is $9,695,748 per week. When I wake up I see 5 rats on the side of my uncovered kid mattress stealing pizza from my fridge. I disregard my crappy living conditions and start heading for work. Not even 5:10 in the morning and the traffic is as congested as the nose of a protestor enduring tear gas. There are more cars on the road than bills to pay. I squeeze my way to work through constant honking and finally get to my hellish office job in downtown Manhatten at 8pm. I sit in a little cubicle (the one with the pillar) while my boss screams racial slurs at incoming customers. I have to cope with this bs, as I was for 23 years in this job with $5 an hour pay and no promotions. After getting home at 6am, I time travel with my yankee hat to 5am as that is the time I wake up. Such is the life of an average New York City resident.

Powerful pfp

Hi Akira,

I’m the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on. On behalf of the owner, the staff team and myself, I would like to personally extend my thanks to you for the $1,000 you forked up to help keep our server alive! Our modeler is happily working on the custom pony character that came with the donor package, however I regret to inform you that we don’t currently have a way to send you the 20″ “horse shaft” you requested but our team is working on it. Once again, thank you sincerely for the donation, and we hope to see you back on the server soon.

Best Regards,
PinkieCraft Server Manager
“Keep on clopping.”

get some better internet