A Declaration of Superior Force and the Imminent Squishing of Tea Man

Dear Tea Man,

Enough is enough. I’m done sitting by and letting you parade around with your fake swords and pretend armor, calling yourself a "warrior." You’re a LARPer, Tea Man—a Live Action Role Player, which is basically just a fancy way of saying "grown-up make-believe."

Meanwhile, I’m a Navy SEAL. That’s right, while you’re waving foam weapons and pretending to be a medieval knight, I’m out here trained to the max, ready to take on actual challenges. If this were a real battlefield, you wouldn’t stand a chance, and deep down, we both know it. I'd take you down in seconds.

So prepare yourself, Tea Man. Because next time I see you, the “great warrior,” the “legendary LARPer,” I’m going to squash you like the pretend soldier you are.

Consider this your one and only warning.

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☐ Not REKT
☑ REKT
☑ REKTangle
☑ SHREKT
☑ REKT-it Ralph
☑ Total REKTall
☑ The Lord of the REKT
☑ The Usual SusREKTs
☑ North by NorthREKT
☑ REKT to the Future
☑ Once Upon a Time in the REKT
☑ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT
☑ LawREKT of Arabia
☑ Tyrannosaurus REKT
☑ eREKTile dysfunction

Machop these nuts

LIKE YOUR TRADES

YOU AWESOME