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"This is Lord Mountjoy Quickfang Winterforth IV, the hottest dragon in the
city. It could burn your head clean off."
-- Captain Vimes addresses a band of rioters
(Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)
| 👃📗🎍🍆🍖📒🌽💗🍇🐊🌂🚙📀🐟🥒🍆🐝💃:oasezelan
With this letter and the enclosed resume, I would like to express my strong interest in the Senior Executive position you are looking to fill. As an experienced and successful business leader with more than 22 years of experience driving superior operations and overall corporate performance, I possess a wide range of knowledge and experience that will allow me to greatly contribute toward the success of your company.
Some highlights of my qualifications and experience include the following:
Conceptualized and established strategic initiatives, policies, and programs to propel the achievement of corporate goals, enhance staff performances, and drive operational success, resulting in a $10.7M increase in company profits within the first three years of hire at KPMG.
Presided over the transformation of a company from a small business with $1.8M in annual revenue and an 8-member staff to a thriving operation with $11.4M in annual revenue and a 29-member staff.
Recruiting, hiring, evaluating, training, coaching, and directing employees to peak performance levels while encouraging professional development and progression throughout career tenures.
My proven dedication to optimizing operational success and business performance, along with my excellent analytical and communication talents, will contribute immensely to the success of your company’s objectives. I look forward to discussing how I can be a positive change agent for your team as your next Senior Executive.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Gary Wingrove
As a Senior-Level Finance & Operations Executive, I offer proven success in maximizing productivity and improving profit margins. My work spans companies and business units at various stages of growth, including start-up, established, and turnaround settings.
Believing profitability requires strong revenue generation and cost controls, I monitor budgets and sales performance closely to identify areas for improvement. I am known for enhancing overall performance through technology upgrades, advanced employee training, and implementation of best practices.
• Drove successful launch of start-up company by hiring a talent team, defining product development plans, and leading go-to-market strategies to achieve $35M+ revenue and 50% margins within two years.
• Managed daily operations of a $150M subsidiary that provided a complete suite of manufacturing solutions in the US and Canada; improved profit margins on overall product line 10%.
• Proved vital to reorganization leadership that cumulated in a 10% productivity improvement in the sales and service organization and a 20% improvement in support organizations.
As CPA and MBA, I am confident I will prove valuable to your company and respectfully submit my resume for your review. I would also like to request a personal meeting to discuss your upcoming goals and how I can help you achieve them. I will make myself available at your convenience and look forward to your call. Thank you for your consideration.
Best regards,
Jinwei Zhang
With great willingness, I am applying for the position of Chief Financial Officer which was advertised on your company's website. I believe that my education, skill-set, and experience make me a suitable candidate for this vacancy.
I am a highly organized and self-driven individual, passionate about developing my career in the field of Accounting as a Corporate Banker. My commitment can be gauged from the fact that I am an accredited holder of a MBA degree with finance as specialisation from Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.
Possessing more than 5 years of experience of working in diverse financial positions with multiple companies, I have gained an extensive insight within this field. My key competencies include, but are not limited to, maintaining financial records, managing budgets, risk assessments and business strategy reviews.
As a Certified Public Accountant, I am an accomplished communicator, with excellent organizational, decision making, and time management skills and have a proven track record of consistently meeting and regularly surpassing demanding performance goals.
Proactive, innovative and highly influential, I am seeking a challenging but rewarding position, which is why I was naturally drawn to this exciting opportunity.
Yours sincerely,
Sanjit Perera
I can offer you seven years of experience managing communications for top-tier auditing firms, excellent project-management skills, and a great eye for detail, all of which should make me an ideal candidate for this opening.
I have attached my résumé for your review and would welcome the chance to speak with you sometime.
Best regards,
Mohammad Mateen
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"''''''''''"
, '' ` ` / !
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i ミ ; ,、、、、 ヽ ¸
,.-‐! ミ i `ヽ.._,,))
//´``、 ミ ヽ (¯`v´¯)
. | l ` ーー -‐''ゝ、,,)). `·.¸.·´
ヽ.ー─'´)
`"""´𝓦𝓪𝓵𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪 𝒇𝓻𝓲𝒆𝓷𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝒆 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓴
𝓲𝓼 𝓫𝒆𝓽𝓽𝒆𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪𝓵𝓸𝓷𝒆 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝒆 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽.
░░░░░░▄▄▄░░▄██▄
░░░░ ▐.▌OO░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░▐███▌░░░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░░▀▄▀░░░▄▄▄▄▄▀▀
░░░░▄▄▄██▀▀▀▀
░░░█▀▄▄▄█░▀▀
░░░▌░▄▄▄▐▌▀▀▀
▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN BANGED BY THE
▀█▌░░░▄░▀█▀░▀
░░░░░░░▄▄▐▌▄▄
░░░░░░░▀███▀███▀██▀██▀██▀░▄
░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY BOOTY BANGER
░░░░░░▐▀░░░░░░▐▌
░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░█
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A: A wonkey donkey!
⌒ヽ
/ へ\
/ / \\
レ ノ ヽ_つ
/ /
/ /|
( (ヽ
| |、\
| 丿 \ ⌒)
| | ) /
`ノ ) Lノ
(_/
Watcha gunna do bout' it ?
A) Give him a blowjob ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
B) Welcome him in and offer him crystal meth
C) Murder him
D) Let him brutally rape you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
E) Tell him that you have Ebola
F) Call da Police!
G) Run and scream like a little ♥♥♥♥♥
H) Give him an orgasmic butt slap ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
/◎ ◎\ ∠ じぇじぇじぇじぇー
| (_人_) |
\_ \l /
/ つ つ
~( ノ
\i⌒ヽ)
+rep at least he's into JRPGs