Recent reviews by Don Quixote

It's just fishing.

Just a little while longer…..

Any game that unironically makes me say "♥♥♥♥ you, Iron Giant" does not deserve to be in my life

That is just the sort of energy I do not want to vibe with, no sir.

This game is genuinely a masterpiece.

Extremely well-written. Amazing voice talents. Beautiful artstyle. Wonderful soundtrack. I really can’t say much without spoiling this game, but this game has genuinely gripped me. Only downside is the usual bugs and glitches, but just make sure to save often.

And I beg of you: if you fail a red check, don’t save scum. Failing is just part of the game.

I urge you to get this game. By pirating it, of course. ♥♥♥♥ Za/um. Don’t give them your money, those bastards.

I mean it's ok I guess

"New World Blues"

Being Capcom's first attempt in widening the audience range of the Monster Hunter series, Monser Hunter: World manages to be one of the most immersive hunting experience you could possibly expect from a game with oversized weaponry and giant birds, from its beautiful locale, beautiful fauna and all the annoyances of a pre-hunting experience.


Beauty of the New World
Though there's no denying that the old world is a host of plenty of beautiful locations, the new world manages to one-up the sense of scale you'd feel as you explore its mysteries and beauty. The ancient forest, with how sprawling it is, serves as a filling first taste in what the game has to offer, even if some areas aren't as visually appealing as the others (Rotten Vale ugh).

Living, Breathing Monsters
Arguably the best thing about Monster Hunter: World are the titular monsters that roam the already captivating new world. It doesn't feel like you're just killing some video game boss: the creature you are hunting has its personality and weight, their attacks not only dishing out insane damage but also telling you about the creature's personality. The Kulu-Ya-Ku's antics and the Anjanath's imposing form mixed with their silly sinus infection comes to mind.

That's not where it's all at, though: the monsters don't just notice you, they also notice each other. Turf wars are always a spectacle to see, where two monsters would duke it out in front of you and disrupting the entire hunt, forcing you to rethink your approach as you now have another monster on your back. You've never lived until you've had a flying wyvern chase after you and the Tobi-Kadachi away from their nest.

Overcompensating Weaponry
The weapons of Monster Hunter are always huge, and World's are no exception. With an expanded movement set, combat in this game (barring some blemishes) is one of the best the series has seen, with each impact having plenty of weight as the monsters react to the damage your weapons dish out.

Want something fast and rabid? The Twin Blades are your friend. Think you're a positioning master? Take a gander at the Greatsword. Do you play CoD? Get any of the bowguns. There are plenty of ways for you to play this game, so go experiment.


The Grind
Monster Hunter is a game about grinding, and it will always be a game about grinding. Killing monsters for more parts that let you kill more monsters faster and better. For many, this is the great loop they love. For others, this is the dealbreaker. If you have the patience for grinding or you enjoy going at it with Nergigante for twenty times for that sweet gem, then this game will give you a good time.


Please Cut the Cutscenes I beg of You
One of my biggest gripes with this game is how annoying the cutscenes are, especially when playing a new playthough. Cutscenes are not skippable and some of them take quite a while. That's fine and all, but then most instances also have a weird situation in which Co-op is impossible until the host has seen the monster cutscene once. While I understand the reason behind it, it's still a little annoying.

Obfuscated and Obtuse Systems
I'll be honest: some things in this game could be explained better. Specifically how food works and how to make skill builds that would fit your hunting playstyle. The biggest problem is that this game allows you to blaze through these things until it simply doesn't work anymore, and those who decide not to participate in learning the mechanics may find themselves stumped as they now realize they can no longer rely on raw weapon damage and defense numbers.

Monster Hunter: World is an amazing game. It is not the easiest game to get into if you don't have the patience to grind and to learn its intricacies. But if you can handle all that, it is genuinely one of the best games that's ever come out in recent memory. While this review only talks about World, I do recommend getting it with Iceborne simply because it just adds to the experience, but if this is your first experience and you only want a taste, World base gives enough of an experience by itself.

Now go out there and start hunting, dear hunter!

*May require some patience and willingness to learn.

"A Big Blunder"

VRChat has been a good part of my life. I've met some friends who've come and gone, experienced plenty of unique takes on creativity, and overall it's just been fun. But a recent change has made look at the game in a negative light. You know what it is, so let's just cut to the chase: The devs have accelerated the decline of the trout population.

What is a Trout?
Trout are freshwater fish species that belong to the genera Oncorhynchus, Salmo, and Salvelinus, which are all members of the Salmoninae subfamily of the Salmonidae family. The word trout is also used in the names of various non-salmonid fish, such as Cynoscion nebulosus, the spotted seatrout, or the speckled trout. Trouts return to their natal waters for reproduction, regardless of whether they live in fresh or salt water. To survive, tiny alevins and small fry require cold, clean, oxygenated water and largely feed on planktons, bug larvae, and other fish larvae.

Some coastal rainbow trout (steelhead) live in the ocean as adults but move to freshwater to breed. The lifespan of trout fish varies greatly, ranging from 7 years for rainbow trout to 15-20 years for lake trout (Salvelinus namaycush).

The Trout Population Decline
Salmonid populations, like Trout, have been dropping in general owing to a variety of reasons, including invasive species, hybridization, wildfires, and climate change. Non-native species that were imported decades ago are threatening native salmonid fish in the western and southern United States. Non-native salmonids were introduced to improve recreational fishing; however, they swiftly outcompeted and displaced native salmonids.

Hatcheries function as a reservoir of fish for recreational purposes, however producing and stocking non-sterile fish would exacerbate the hybridization problem on a shorter, more exaggerated time scale. By stocking sterile fish, native salmonids are unable to transfer genes with non-native hatchery fish, limiting future gene pollution of New Mexico's native trout. Because of the ash and soot that can enter streams after a fire, burning is also a factor in the decline of Gila trout (Oncorhynchus gilae) populations. The ash reduces the quality of the water, making it more difficult for the Gila trout to live. Native Gila trout will be removed from streams endangered by adjacent fires and reintroduced once the threat is resolved in select New Mexico streams.

The Recent VRChat Update
As you may know, VRChat recently pushed out a security update into the game, implementing a few features that would theoretically make the platform a safer space for its users. One such addition is a software known as "EasyAntiCheat", a widely-used anti-cheat solution that's been going around the gaming space. Now, let's start with this little tidbit: EasyAntiCheat is not Denuvo 2. The voices in my head keep telling me that I should clarify that even if it seems obvious, but I'm sure you all knew this already. Regardless, it does things. Like many things that does things, it does things that you might not like. And what do you not like? I don't know. I can't read your mind.

What Does EAC Have To Do With the Trout Decline?
While the data for the declining trout population is public knowledge, the statistics for the recent VRChat update, to my knowledge, is not. Therefore, this is the point where I have to take a stab in the dark. While I find my hypothesis to be damning when all is said and done, I must stress that these are still hypothesis and, therefore, not subject to any form of litigation by the VRChat team.

Theory 1: Trout users are client users
With the decline of client users caused by the implementation of EAC, a similar pattern can be seen with the trout population decline. This can only mean one thing: trouts use clients to access VRChat. There has been a raging debate on what it means for accessibility with many people losing access to many quality-of-life features offered by clients, and this may simply be a major example that may lead to an economic crisis.

Theory 2: Increase in Trout farming due to userbase drop
This one is a little more mundane, but sometimes the simplest answers could be the best one. Simply put, the implementation of EAC has turned people away from VRChat, to the point where a non-zero amount of them have taken a decision to fish for Trout instead. If this was an isolated case there wouldn't be any hint of change from current trends, but considering the recent state of the steam reviews, one could make the case that this is a significant amount of ripple effect on Trout fishing.

According to a few sources, a person may fish about 5 Trout maximum per day, with 10 being the maximum amount allowed in possession. As of now, there have been approximately 19320 negative reviews on the steam page (not including this one). That would mean about 96,600 Trout fished per day. Considering that it has been 72 hours since the outrage, this would mean that at the time of writing, there have been 289,800 trout fished by disgruntled VRChat users. This is not an insignificant number.

Theory 3: Trouts are not real (They are client users)
If you are familiar with the idea of 'catfishing', this theory would be much more digestible. In short, every single Trout you see (or at least the majority of them) are not real Trouts. They are, in fact, client users using their modded client to act and live as a Trout. This may sound farfetched, but it is surprisingly easy to become a trout in VRChat, thanks to the streamlined process of avatar creation, for the most part. However, clients are necessary to simulate the full extent of being a trout, such as unhindered movement in a 3D space, advanced tracking options and the ability to breathe underwater. With no client to help them achieve these things, all the fake Trouts have simply disappeared.

What Can I do To Help?
The situation may sound grim, and you might be thinking: "What other salmonid is next? Maybe the tuna is going away soon. What about the squids? Somebody think of the squids!"

First of all, try not to panic. the VRChat team can smell your fear. Talk to your friends, your family, your loved ones about how you feel. This is not an easy task, especially if you're more secluded in nature. But once you're able to express yourself, it can be liberating.

Once you've understood your true emotions, now is the part where you can at least help on your end: Stop supporting harmful Trout practices. This may be hard. Harder than opening up. But remember that without Trout, the world will never be the same. So start small, like limiting your consumption. There comes a point where you would have to increase your steps, of course. Bringing up the issue to your congressman/congresswoman is one step, as well as petitioning your neighbours and friends. Though one of the biggest immediate impact you can have is the wallet of Big Trout. Cancel your VRC+ subscription. Make them know that you're against the declining Trout population.

But don't harass the devs. That's messed up.

Final Verdict:
VRChat is an interesting experience. It still is. But there are obviously some morally reprehensible things that have been happening surrounding it that would make using the platform a gut-wrenching experience. If you feel like you don't care enough about that sort of thing, I would say go ahead and disregard everything I've said and simply enjoy your time here. I know I'm going to be staying for a good bit. Just remember, that while you're having fun relaxing with the rest of your pals in a private instance of The Black Cat, the declining Trout population will only get worse.

Get it if you want. It's free. Just remember that God weeps if you do.

"Robbed blind"

Hood: Outlaws and Legends gives you an authentic AAA game experience in a AA package, in that it lures you in with grand promises of an engaging experience only to tie you up, beat you down and rob you of your money. Coming out as a bug-ridden mess with a nonexistent matchmaking system and a Voice chat system from hell, the only thing this game's got going for it is its shiny leather boots and the oh so tantalising "potential".

The Premise:

The bourgeoisie have taken over most of the country's wealth, while the common people suffers. It's up to you and your ragtag group of thieves and troublemaker to redistribute that wealth and save the beautiful kingdom of France.

Your journey won't be easy, however; between your group and limitless wealth stands a buff-as-♥♥♥♥ sheriff that is only vulnerable to God himself, some mooks that have the attention-span of a goldfish on adderall and another ragtag group of thieves and troublemaker aiming to redistribute the wealth and save the beautiful kingdom of Belgium.

The positives:

- The Presentation

The game looks gorgeous, if not generic. Well-lit environments hypnotise you into thinking that you're engaging with something more than just a three-step capture the flag. There's also character design. It looks nice enough. If this is your first piece of media ever, you might even think that it looks original.

If there's one thing that I won't give a backhanded compliment to, it's the music. Dynamic music always delights me, and this game has it. The thumping drums and brass gives this game that extra feeling of tension when things get close.

- The gameplay (the first few hours)

Even if the game's just glorified CTF, I would be lying if I said that the game doesn't have its moments of fun. It's fun sneaking about with other people, splitting off in pairs in search of the vault door and the key. It's satisfying to dodge around the big hammer man, allowing your teammate to silently slit their throat.

The negatives:

- Business malpractice

Let's not kid ourselves. You know exactly why they decided to give early access to those who pre-order. The mix of FOMO and the lack of an actual review score during the early access period would surely attract the eyes of unsuspecting customers, thinking that this game would have more content than a bag of Lays potato chips. Now that the verdict is out, the cat's out of the bag.

- A bug-ridden mess

A few things I've read about this game is how smoothly it launched. If this counts as smooth in today's video game standards, I truly fear the future of the industry.

The voice chat system allows me to peer into the microphone of other players that I'm not even playing with, giving me an authentic thief experience. The results menu would not move past the first screen because it couldn't load the players, which means I don't get to redistribute my earnings post-match. Matches that just won't start because some mad God has not been appeased, freezing everyone and the HUD elements until eternity. A slice of the pie of what is supposedly a finished product. I understand that games will always launch with a few kinks, but this is just ridiculous.

(As a side note, I don't blame the testers nor the developers. They did a fine job for what it's worth. The publisher, ultimately, has the final say in this mess, and that's where the whole piss goes to.)

- Matchmaking

Much like Jeffrey Epstein, the matchmaking system seems to love pairing up people in the most inappropriate manner. Having a team of new players be pitted against those at the upper echelons of the game is not an uncommon sight, and I don't blame anyone jumping ship from the match because of this. This wouldn't be much of a problem if there weren't any gameplay-altering stat bonuses from being higher level, but of course the is.

Despite the matchmaking's liberal pairings, it's still quite slow. Getting into a server takes seconds. Actually filling it takes ages.

- The gameplay (after the first few hours)

The mask is thin, so shedding it takes no time at all. The soldier's got walnuts for brains with the occasional whispers of God. Stealing from the sheriff is pathetically easy. Nothing changes after those few matches. The game just eventually becomes stagnant, and the only reason you keep playing is because of the skins and the promise of changes given by perks.

Of course, this could have been mitigated by the addition of more content during launch, but why would they give you things to play with now if they can give it to you later?

- Lack of Content (or Business malpractice Part 2)

To start off with, you got four playable characters and one gamemode, with each map only changing up the layout of the match and not how the actual match is played. Variety is the spice of life, and this game's spice is salt and pepper.

Of course, one would point out that "they'll add more content eventually". Yes. Content that could have been in the game day-one, making this game feel like a complete game. But of course not. Selling complete games is no longer the trend. Now it's all Year 1 passes, a promise that the game that you've paid for will eventually be whole, be it from "free updates" or battle passes.

- The game doesn't cost 30 dollars. It costs 50. For the first year.

And don't even start with the whole "it's just cosmetics" defence. That is literally why we're in this mess now. Making your customers pay premium in an already paid game in order to be the ire of those who haven't spent an extra dime on the game they've already paid for is just disgusting.

Final Verdict:

I understand that you might be looking for a new experience. Something that can spice up your gaming library. Hood: Outlaws & Legends could have been just that if it weren't for the fact that it's an unfinished, half-baked money printer. It's also a sad reminder of how the current gaming landscape has been for the past couple of years. Don't be fooled by the lack of EA or Activision on its involvement, for the devil has many faces.

Get in on a deep sale. Or a key. Or don't get it at all.

"Choose your own comedy"

Remember those old flash games that you played back when your teachers weren't looking even though you were supposed to be making websites using HTML? The Henry Stickmin saga was one of the more famous ones of the bunch, and ultimately received the most wonderful remaster a flash game could ever dream of getting.

The Positives:

Sheer Hilarity -
It's just as funny as I remembered, against all odds. While the internet references could be seen as a time capsule of old tastes at best, its charm outweighs the outdated cultural mark of the old saga, keeping it fresh for newcomers while still as endearing for old fans.

Art -
The game is gorgeous, beyond stickman standards. Backgrounds and characters have been revamped, bringing in more details than the flash originals could ever hope to achieve.

Replayability -
This one is a no-brainer. It's a choose-your-own-adventure book, essentially. You'll want to succeed (and fail) in all the way the game allows you to, thanks to its charming wit and humor. There are also collectibles to look out for, if you're into those sorts of things.

Completing the Mission -
The final chapter of the Stickmin saga. While I would have been satisfied if the game only included the originals with no new content, CtM is an amazing way to end the series off. The ending you chose for the last two chapters actually matter, allowing you to mix and match whichever route you want for even more fun. What also helps is that it has not lost its touch at all. Good stuff.

Value -
It's super cheap. Unless you're strapped for cash, this game won't leave a dent on your wallet if you decide to try it out. Plus, they deserve your money for bringing out these content for free for all these years.

The Negatives:

Voice Acting -
Keep in mind that this is very nitpicky and that it does not detract from the experience in any way, but the voice work is definitely very amateurish. Especially the older titles. I wish they'd gone back and perked up the vocals on the older titles, but I'd be asking too much at that point.

Completing the Mission: Underwhelming Routes
While CtM is mostly hit than miss, I can't deny that some combinations are better than others. Some are objectively just too short, while others are more personal.

Conclusion:
The Henry Stickmin Collection is a must buy for, well, everyone. It's a sweet little adventure story that will kick your sides into orbit. It will also make you cry, depending on your emotional attachments to the characters. Definitely get it. Get it now. Do it or i'll tear your eyes out.

Final Verdict: 10/10 Essential Purchase

"I'm 5 parallel dimensions ahead of you!"
Once upon a time, there was a game called chess. It had simple rules yet a deep layer of strategy. Those who master it know of its ins and outs, yet those who are ignorant of its inner workings would still be bewildered by the beauty of the match.

The madman, however, thought that wasn't enough and added time travel and parallel dimensions into the mix because why the hell not?

The Positives:
Presentation - The graphics are simple and clean. Despite its uniqueness, it still carries the same design elements as the game it's based on. There is nothing to complain about in that regard. However, the implementation of extra layers meant that those elements are not enough to convey the game's purpose. Fortunately, it succeeds in creating a graphical workflow that can be both complex enough to handle the information being relayed while also retaining the beautiful simplicity of chess.

Gameplay - The main draw of this product is no doubt the novelty of time travel and parallel dimensions. Despite how outlandish both concepts sound (especially when combined), it's a combination that works to add extra layers into an already deep strategy. This does mean that the game comes with a steep learning curve, but the rules are far from abstract and is surprisingly logical, making the act of dimension jumping part of your strategies instead of just being a funny gimmick.

Price - It's surprisingly cheap, at least in my region. If you truly enjoy chess and puzzles in general, this game will definitely give your money's worth and then same.

The Negatives:

Intuitiveness - While the rules may be simple, the game does leave many things unanswered, urging players to try everything out themselves. While this does help with giving new players a sense of discovery, it does make the game very confusing to play the first time. Do not expect to understand everything in one or two (or ten) tries.

Missing features - With the game being so confusing to learn, it would be fitting to have a mode allowing two CPUs to fight against eachother, allowing you to observe basic strategies. Unfortunately, there is no such mode.

Conclusion:
5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel is, as the name suggests, pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ confusing. What it isn't however, is nonsensical. Everything it does has a reason and strategy is rewarded as much as it is in regular chess. If you are an avid fan of the classic tabletop game, I urge you to try this. If you are a simple observer and don't know much about chess, I still highly recommend trying this out. I won't guarantee it'll make you a grandmaster, but it will give you some good laughs.

Final Verdict: 8/10 Recommended Purchase