Recent reviews by Hammer Of Evil

I mostly deal with petty thievery and drunken brawls. it's been too long since we had a good bandit raid.

so looking at mordhau early days, i wasn't too impressed so kinda was going to wait for a discount. well i missed my chance and a true bro caught it and sent it over, and what a nice game.

pros:
-more in-depth combat than the old chiv system, clash/chamber/throws/perks all can tip the scale of a combat
-ranked duels - this alone will keep the game alive for a long time
-global leaderboard
-anti cheat
-game just sips your pc resources, increases viability for older systems.
-chiv voice actors(yes, you couldn't fool me, lol.)
-80 player battle mode
-hammer
-horsey ride hammer golf game now possible, club a noob today.
-you're not stuck getting X kills with a weapon to unlock the next weapon - that was a very boring thing in the old chiv, you spend a couple games with nothing unlocked and you have enough rank and golds to buy weapons and set up your loadouts.
-loadouts
-can be very smol gimli boi with really deep voice and run around yelling 'AND MY AXE'
-can be very tall giant boi with really squeaky voice and run around saying 'HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII <3'
-mods play often, chatban/gameban big griefer 10/10

cons:
-pve mode? this is a mod idea adapted from a chiv mod, it really, really, really, sucks. just awful. the chiv mod was bad, this one is actually worse. *run for 10 minutes turn and shoot one arrow simulator*
-shelf life due to population dependency
-noob will teamkill you, then get very offended when you spend 10 minutes hammering his face in when he spawns again lol (actually this isnt a con)
-crazy bad lag
-'packet loss' with a wired 1gb dn 500mb up connection?????????????????????????
-very bad lag in 2021
-lag is bad
-the server lag makes playing quite unenjoyable
-really bad lag takes the shine off your armor pretty fast

conclusion: good game for thick arm hammer boys, game runs well, if you can survive the crippling lag depression. it looks like something is being done about the lag but idk when it'll be sorted, so glhf if you buy it.

Fun RTS, similar to total annihilation, but still very different due to veterancy and research mechanics.

the game focuses on being 'pretty' which reduces that framerate. some may not be able to play it because of some type of technical issue, your mileage may vary.

if you want to win, you mass gunships.

pretty fun for singleplayer, the ai will flex on you if you haven't played before. mp scene is pretty much dead, but if you get a few friends together, the online component runs really well. you might find the odd public game out in the wild.

Hi

---{Graphics}---
☐ You forget what reality is
☑ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Bad
☐ it will turn your soul to stone if you keep looking

---{Gameplay}---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Ok
☐ No
☐ I'd rather go to the dentist

---{Audio}---
☐ You think an angel sounds like this
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Why? Why would you do this?

---{Audience}---
☐ Kids
☐ Teens
☐ Adults
☑ Everyone
☐ Po-tay-to

---{PC Requirements}---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☑ Potato (5+ years)
☐ Decent (prev gen)
☐ Fast (current gen, low end)
☐ Your PC has thick digital biceps and never misses digital leg day.
☐ Dual Quantum Processor with 45 Mega Cubits of power.

---{Difficulity}---
☐ Skyrim
☐ Easy
☐ GalaxyBrainPower required
☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Difficult☠☠
☐ Darkest Dungeon☠☠☠

---{Grind}---
☐ Already at end game gear
☐ Only if you want to put your initials on the top score
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ You might lose your job at this rate
☐ Black Desert Online

---{Story}---
☑ Story?
☐ there was an attempt
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Majestic
☐ The Witcher III

---{Game Time}---
☐ You can do your fulltime job between rounds
☐ 5hrs
☑ Average 10-30hrs (to game complete)
☐ Long 100hrs
☑ ∞ replayability endless (you're just going to want to marvel over your creations)

---{Price}---
☐ Free
☑ #worth
☐ its a bit high, but ok
☐ Not recommended
☐ It's better to just to go get scammed by a telemarketer

---{Bugs}---
☑ None
☐ Some bugs but the devs are on it
☐ Skyrim
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ They should rename their game to 'bug simulator'

Thanks,

bye☢️

Starbound is super fun. I ended up nolifing this like i did with terraria, and didn't write any review.

I make tldr review system.

gud game. ur a space mans in a large universe. travel to each planet and meet npcs.

features:
-buy and sell.
-build a huge base on an entire planet idk.
-wierd alien rabbitmousemoose trys to kill you.
-crafting.
-laser gun.
-rocket launcher.
-space bandit.
-fun trees.
-poptop sing to you but its a trap.

code so clean it will uninstall cavity from your pc's teeth for you. mods ez to install, drag and drop. runs on a toaster oven with digital keypad.


yes, just get the game.

this game is hilarious.

>raised an army of scary naked soda addicts
>armed them with meat clubs
>they proceed to beat the dark lord to death

meat/10 would do it again.

i was a bit apprehensive picking this up because it 'felt' and definitely has a distinctly different flavor from 4.1. it kind of seemed like a semi-shoddy reskin at first, and i was pretty close to refunding once i got close to the 2 hr mark.

but the treasures the game holds started to come out. memes started appearing in the npc dialogues, and the handling and controls for the fencer start getting more crisp as you unlock more equipment. then i saw some scary ass aliens and i was hooked, edf5 exchanges some silly and comedy for some maturity and grittiness, and it somehow synergizes well with the shootemup genre.

it's a total reboot on the 'edf' story, (basically, pretend the previous games didn't happen and you can see what edf 5 is.) and kind of feels like what the devs were going for with 4.1, but couldn't quite sort it out in time for 4.1's release. edf5 feels like the complete experience, and upgraded in every sense of the word. game plays very smoothly, and has enough effects and detailed textures to make you feel engaged.

your 'character' goes through some minor development as well, which was also kind of cool to see.

edf5 has that over-the-top action and, the voice acting being slipshod was what made 4.1 endearing, but here in edf5, there's some really good voices and a bigger variety of people talking as well.

if you liked 4.1, edf5 stays close enough to the base recipe that it retains a lot of that previous charm, but re-invents itself and reenvisions it into an interesting new world.

and well, 1600+ weapons and equipment items. Your fencer big guns come back for this version, but new twists are added to keep it fresh and interesting. I'm also hoping i see the air raider ridiculously gigantic missile packages as well, haha. wing divers look great and don't have triangular kneecaps anymore, which is nice.

so far i sure like it. im sure i'll enjoy it for a few 100 hrs!

TLDR: Capcom games - don't buy it till the final update rolls.

im editing this because i am changing to 'recommended' as the current state of the game is in much better condition than at IB launch.

The game itself - 9/10. i dont like the clutch claw, but everything else is fine.

Before this final patch I would have scored it more 5/10 or 6/10 due to the technical issues. Now that they won't be 'patching' the game anymore, I can finally recommend it on the following basis:

1) user installs and can run the game
2) user installs strackers loader from nexusmods
3) user installs performance boost mod from nexusmods
4) user can finally enjoy the game as it was before the iceborn patch ruined everything.

At least now you can get a framerate that is playable, without jitter and stutter throwing off your weapon timing.

note that MHW requires a potent CPU and GPU to run it well.

If you don't have these, maybe wait on purchasing. it's only going to get cheaper.

MHW is a game that a player can spend a lot of hours on if they're into it. there is a ton of high level content.

if it is your first MHW title, please talk to someone who's played it, dont' get the wrong idea about this game - it is not easy. Everyone gets pounded into paste in their first MH game. Thats how it goes. if you can't handle that, give it a miss.

Garuda team, time to take off.

I DREAMED A DREAAAAAMMMMM.....THEE OTHER NIIIIIIIGHHHTTT...

LOOOOOOOWWWWLAAAAAAAANDS.....LOWWWLAAAANDS AAAAWAAAAAAYYYYYYY ME JOHNNNNNNNNN!

MY LOVE SHE CAME
DRESSED ALL IN WHITE
LOWLANDS AWAY

I DREAMED MY LOVE
CAME IN MY SLEEP
LOWLANDS LOWLANDS AWAY ME JOHN
HER CHEEKS WERE WET
HER EYES DID WEEP
LOWLANDS AWAY

SHE CAME TO ME
AT MY BEDSIDE
LOWLANDS LOWLANDS AWAY ME JOHN
ALL DRESSED IN WHITE
LIKE SOME FAIR BRIDE
LOWLANDS AWAY

AND BRAVELY IN HER BOSOM FAIR
LOWLANDS LOWLANDS AWAY ME JOHN
HER RED RED ROSE
MY LOVE DID WEAR
LOWLANDS AWAY

SHE MADE NO SOUND
NO WORD SHE SAID
LOWLANDS LOWLANDS AWAY ME JOHN
AND THEN I KNEW
MY LOVE WAS DEAD..
LOWLANDS....AWAY...

WHEN I AWOKE
TO HEAR THE CRY
LOWLANDS LOWLANDS AWAY ME JOHN
OH WATCH ON DECK!
OH WATCH AHOY!
LOWLANDS AWAY

========

Don't buy it because its an ac game. buy it because its a great pirate game.