https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcRJGHkpm8s



I feel dead inside.. help me..

My life is in black and white... i dont know whats good or bad, and i always end up getting hurt no matter my choices, i've been down this road before, and i will go down this road again. My soul is shattered, i feel dead and broken inside. Each day i feel like my end is coming soon. When its time to choose, there are only two choices, get rid of my emotions... or die. I hope someone is for once actually different, someone who will actually understand and stay, someone that can and will alter my path and save me before its too late... but one can only dream..




-Jessica, 2011 -to- 2017 february 21




Feel better now, not that much better.. but i feel better. I wake up.. i feel tired, but i'm able to get out of bed. I repeat the same day everyday.. and sometimes i feel sad for how my life's turned out so far, but i'll make it better.. nobody else will. Nobody in those years of pain, has ever understood me. The only one that understood me was Jeffrey Sikkens. Only the best and worst thing.. that happenned in those years. But in a way it gave me hope, and now i can defend myself again.


Jessica 2017 -to- 2020


Things get better.. then they get much worse, everytime i think i've picked myself up, everytime i get the smallest ounce of courage, or hope, it gets torn from my hands, my arms, everyone i've loved or cared for has abandoned me for 8 years, there's been a few good people, but they left too, and now im all alone again.. with no future and no hope.


Jessica 2020 -to-