BRUSH HEAVY'S KAWK!!!

you tuned my tv

+rep çünkü adam gibi adam

sandvich

uhh no

e.

jk

YOU WILL PAY FOR YOURE BETRYAL

+rep the best kurd ever

mmmmmmmmmmm SANDWİCH

SO ANYWAY, HE BURSTS INTO MY ROOM AND HE GRABBED MY LUCKY SNORKLE AND IM LIKE
"hey you can't do that! That snorkel has been just like a snorkel to me!"
And he's like "tough"
And im like "give it!"
And hes like "make me!"
And im like "kay!"

ITS SOME BIG FAT HERMAPHRODITE WITH A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS HAIRCUT AND ONLY ONE NOSTRIL
aw man i hate it when i'm right.

WELL I CHECKED INTO MY ROOM
AND I TURNED DOWN THE A/C
AND I TURNED ON THE SPECTRAVISION
AND IM JUST ABOUT TO EAT THAT CHOCOLATE MINT ON MY PILLOW THAT I LOVE SO VERY VERY MUCH!
when all of a sudden theres a knock on the door...
"well who could that be?" i say who is it?
no answer...
who iiis iiit~?
no answer.
WHO IS IT?!
they're not sayin' anything
so finally i go over and JUST as i suspected...

Where the towels are oh so FLUFFY!
AND YOU CAN EAT YOUR SOUP RIGHT OUTTA' THE ASHTRAYS IF YOU WANNA
its ok they're clean

CAUSE I HAD THE TRAY TABLE UP!
AND MY SEAT BACK IN THE FULL UPRIGHT POSITION!
HAD THE TRAY TABLE UP!
AND MY SEAT BACK IN THE FULL UPRIGHT POSITION!
HAD THE TRAY TABLE UP!
AND MY SEAT BACK IN THE FULL UPRIGHT POSITION!
AHHAHAHAAHAA!
Hahahahaa!
ahhhh...
so i crawled from the twisted burnin' wreckage,
i crawled on my hands an knees for three full days!
draggin' along my big leather suitcase, and my garment bag, and my tenor saxophone, and my 12lb bowling ball and my lucky lucky autographed Glow-In-The-Dark snorkel!
but finally i arrived at the world famous...
ALBUQUERQUE HOLIDAY INN!

TO A-A-A-A ALBUQUERQUEEE A-A-A-A ALBUQUERQUE
Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women
With excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
AND THE PLANE EXPLODED IN A GIANT FIREBALL AND EVERYBODY DIED!
Except for me
YOU KNOW WHY?

That was when i swore that someday,
someday i would get out of that basement and travel to a magical faraway place..
WHERE THE SUN IS ALWAYS SHINING AND THE AIR SMELLS LIKE WARM ROOT BEER
AND THE TOWELS ARE OH SO FLUFFY!
WHERE THE STRIDERS AND THE LEMURS PLAY THEIR UKULELE'S ALL DAY LONG AND ANYONE ON THE STREETS WOULD SHAVE YOUR BACK FOR A NICKEL!
*inhale*
WACKA WACKA DOO DOO YEAH!
well let me tell ya people, it wasn't long until my dream came true!
cause the very next day a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Lenard Nemoys BUTT!
i was off by three, but i still won the grand prize!
thats right a FIRST CLASS ONE WAY TICKET...

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs
In the corner of the basement of the house
Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single morning
It was driving me crazy
I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "It's good for you"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut
Until I was twenty six and a half years old

i do in fact, own an airfryer

+ref he ABSOLUTELY owns an air fryer.

i love blueberries

Ae

this guy clearly owns an air fryer

it`s a nice guy.

has a cool knife

10/10 real john cena can confirm