Hello, my dear friend.

This is a moderator of PornH*b™. We couldn’t help but notice you haven’t logged in for FOUR WHOLE WEEKS. Naturally, we’re worried. Are you okay? Did you finally touch grass? Or, dare we say, find an actual human connection? 😳

Rest assured, we’ve been working tirelessly in your absence. Since your last visit, we’ve updated the Gay section with an UNPRECEDENTED amount of high-quality videos that cater to your specific... ahem, refined tastes. 💦

But wait, there’s more! We’ve also added:

4K Resolution (to see every detail, if you know what we mean).
AI-Generated Content (because humans alone can’t meet your insatiable curiosity).
A “Biggest Fan” Badge that we’re saving just for you—once you return.
Come back soon! Your personalized recommendations and dedicated server space are waiting for you. Don’t leave us hanging, champ. We need you. ❤️

Warm regards,
Your loyal friends at PornH*b™ HQ