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24 of 29 (83%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

1-800-CLEARED

Finish the game
Unlocked 11 Mar, 2015 @ 2:36pm

1-800-GETHELP

Finish the game on hard mode
Unlocked 13 Jul, 2015 @ 9:41am

NUCLEAR WASTE

They won't reach the Nuclear Throne
Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 7:24am

FANTASTIC!

Unlock all the Fans
Unlocked 21 Mar, 2015 @ 8:56am

THESE ARE MY RIFLES, THESE ARE MY GUNS...

Unlock all weapons for the Soldier
Unlocked 21 Mar, 2015 @ 8:56am

SNAKE CHARMER

Unlock all snake masks
Unlocked 21 Mar, 2015 @ 8:56am

WHAT YOU LEAVE FOR YOUR SONS

Unlock all of the Son's techniques
Unlocked 11 Mar, 2015 @ 1:16pm

FANATIC

Clear a level with each Fan
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2015 @ 11:39am

FAMILY BUSINESS

Clear a level with each of the Son's techniques
Unlocked 13 Jul, 2015 @ 9:33am

SNAKES ON A HEAD

Clear a level with each snake mask
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2015 @ 12:41pm

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Get the big picture
Unlocked 9 May, 2016 @ 4:15pm

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE

Destroy 100 electronic devices
Unlocked 21 Mar, 2015 @ 8:56am

KARMA

Die 1000 times
Unlocked 11 Mar, 2015 @ 12:17pm

GOT YOUR BACK

Shoot two enemies during a chainsaw finish
Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 3:58pm

FOLLOW THE SCRIPT

Do as the Director says!
Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 7:25am

ASSASSIN'S CRED

Clear the 1st floor of NO MERCY with the silencer
Unlocked 30 Apr, 2016 @ 11:26am

DEAD SILENT

Finish SUBWAY without the Gang Leader seeing you
Unlocked 9 May, 2016 @ 2:31pm

I'M COMING IN AND I'M UNARMED!

Finish HOMICIDE without using guns
Unlocked 6 May, 2016 @ 8:57pm

STARE INTO THE ABYSS

Unlock THE ABYSS
Unlocked 13 Jul, 2015 @ 9:56am

THE BAR OF BROKEN HEROES

Meet up with the Biker
Unlocked 13 Jul, 2015 @ 10:17am

COMBO BEGINNER

Perform a 5x combo
Unlocked 11 Mar, 2015 @ 12:25pm

COMBO INTERMEDIATE

Perform a 10x combo
Unlocked 11 Mar, 2015 @ 1:30pm

COMBO MASTER

Perform a 15x combo
Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 9:20am

COMBO GOD

Perform a 20x combo
Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 9:21am



ACHIEVEMENT WHORE

Unlock all achievements

1-800-GODDAMN

Get A+ on all levels on normal

DON'T LET ANGER GET THE BEST OF YOU

Clear all of the Writer's levels without killing

A BOX FULL OF SHARP OBJECTS

Use every weapon in the game at least once

GENOCIDE

Kill 50,000 enemies