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People say to me that a person being Shrek is impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful.
I'm having a plastic surgeon change my skin color to green, and make me look like an ogre. From now on I want
you guys to call me "Shrek" and respect my right to eat onions from above and to protect my swamp needlessly.
If you can't accept me you're a Shrekophobe and need to check your Dreamworks privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.