dont you get it im nothing im a joke a failure,you dont know what its like to be worthless where nothing you do matters i feel the way every day of my life

you know when you drowning,you dont actually inhale until right before you black out.
its called vol-un-tar-y-ap-ne-a
like no matter how much you're freaking out the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you wont open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding but when you finally do let it in that's when it stops hurting.

its not scary anymore it's actually kind of
PEACEFUL