"Hello, it's me, Gustavo." - Gusta-- Squeaky.

"Gotta juke out these cats!" - Squeaky
"Wait, JUKEBOX CATS?" -

"AWGH NO MAWH WIFE EXPLODED!!" -
"I guess that's why it's called Halo." - Squeaky

"Satan can wait, I need wood right now." - Hurley

"You hit me with a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ monkey, that's what you did." - Hurley

"I'm the smartest one here with my -21 AQ." - Squeaky

"You know what you call eating milk? Cheese." -

"This bird-man just turned into a cheeseburger." - Hurley
"Bird burgers!" - Squeaky

"Make it uh.. lumberjack colored.. ah yes. that's what it's called.. 'Red.'" -

"Try and spank me now, ♥♥♥♥♥." - Alice

"I will make you the roots of my tree" -

"You know, when George Washington was born in like 2 B.C? He had Flintstones vitamins." - Hurley

"There he is... Big Chungo..." - Madds

"Are you saying the south believe in something that doesn't exist?" - Snivy
"Well, they already believe in a lot of things that don't exist." -

"Ah-Crepe! Me lucky charrmz!" -

"Squeaky's in potato-chip denial." - Hurley + x2 Combo

"Guys, the lesson I truly learned during Helldivers is the best strategy is leaving you two to die." - to Hurley and Squeaky.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT" - Hurley as the grenade blasts me into bits.

"OH CRAP I HAVE TO GO TO WORK" *slam* *frantic footsteps* -

"Hello, sir, I'm here under the suspicision of shrooms." -
"NODRUGSHEREPLEASEGOAWAY" - Hurley
"Burn the officer!" - Squeaky

"I realized that today, I am in fact a moron." -
"I am here to support you and your decisions, that's what friends are for." -Bold

"Shooting someone you just met is not the right way to say hello." -Shmub

"I'm going to stretch to the end of the universe and nobody is going to stop me. :'(" -

"I nuked Earth so I could give birth to Mickey Mouse." - Squeaky

"This is a space gun, not an old people gun!!" - Hurley

"Lookit this SICK stunt lookaitlookaithis SICK friggin SICK stuff this SICK is so SICK I can't even lookit this SICK. You see this SICK, aw lookit that friggin SICK." -

"HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE WRONG, SQUEAKY!?" - Hurley

"We're busy fantisizing about the thought of you getting shot." -

"I just punched a pizza... I need some help." - Sherbert.

"Arright, so we got three tubs of play-doh, a he man figure, and a chocolate fountain." -

"Guys... guys, come down for a second... we've buried the toilet." - Squeaky

"You can buy friends; they're called prostitutes." - Glerk

"It all makes sense now, Mrs. Claus is a dragqueen." -

"You know what's good about the pompadour? It's aerodynamic!" - Squeaky

"Look guys! I'm lighter than gravity!" -

"Doom guy! Noooo!" - Hurley

"It's Guts Man! I'd recognize his butt from anywhere!" - Squeaky

"Why couldn't you put the fire out?" - Squeaky

"Sucks, doesn't it?" - Squeaky

"See, there's a silver lining to all this, we discovered we like milk!" -

"I'll show you what a REAL mafioso looks like!" -

"Aha! You thought you could get past me FAKE MEEPER!?" - Hurley
"THAT'S THE REAL ME! The fake one's over there," -

"Hey guys, I found a structure- IT'S FULL OF MONEY!!" -

"Have you ever even TRIED aiming with a PIANO?" -

"That's not a wizard, that's a gay cowboy." - Hurley

"No man who looks that concerned can have any hair on his head." -

"I'm like a lame super villian." -
"I'll get you next time, Racing Shogun!" - Squeaky

"It's fine." - Hurley

"I'm just here trying to ask you how many critters you have stored in your lungs, and here you are swearing at me!" -

"Well, your mom isn't here so that means you're the worst." - Sherbert

"Aw maaan, I'm all GOOPY~ now!" - Hurley

"Ogres don't have legs." - Hurley

My Epiphany about the whole world is that Hurley's scumbaggy life is better than mine in every aspect and that mine sucks and I'll never be the coolest moolest guy.

"We're the lamest people ever." -Hurley