my dota dream is that one day matthew becomes my wife, jeremy skypes me everyday, and trevor becomes my maid

The amount of hours played on dota showed on my steam profile is a lie.

A man walks down the street, sees a black man with a TV under his arm. Thinks:"♥♥♥♥! that looks like mine!" runs home quikly, and is relieved:"Thank god, mine is still cutting the hedges!"

What's faster than a black guy with your phone? His little brother on your bike

What is the difference between Jews and pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench, a bench can support a family.