Margit’s cane is his penis

I visited the penis museum in Iceland recently, and learned quite a bit about penis preservation. If removed while erect and sewed shut on the bleeding end, no blood will leak out, resulting in a preserved, if slightly flaky, shrunk and shriveled, penis. Margit’s cane is slightly darker than his own skin, and wrinkled immensely. It is entirely possible that his RIDICULOUSLY MASSIVE penis (possibly enlarged by the Formless Mother due to Morgott’s cursed blood or because the crucible does weird things to people) was removed at peak erection, (most likely likely before he grew old and ED set in) and now uses it as a cane/weapon. Additionally, the penis has the most blood in it at full erection. When Margit unleashes his blade within his dissected dildo came, the blood once used to keep the penis at full mast, now solidified over time, is used as Margit’s final weapon.

i'll mow your lawn if you know what i mean (it means pay me to mow your lawn)

-rep i will never give back his lawnmower

im in love with you

cool man cool you wanna watch the game tomorrow or what

hey whats up g

would u turn gay for me just for like a minute

Zǎoshang hǎo zhōngguó xiànzài wǒ yǒu BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 wǒ hěn xǐhuān BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 dànshì sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 bǐ BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 sùdù yǔ jīqíng sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 wǒ zuì xǐhuān suǒyǐ…xiànzài shì yīnyuè shíjiān zhǔnbèi 1 2 3 liǎng gè lǐbài yǐhòu sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 ×3 bùyào wàngjì bùyào cu òguò jìdé qù diànyǐngyuàn kàn sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 yīn wéi fēicháng hǎo diànyǐng dòngzuò fēicháng hǎo chàbùduō yīyàng BING CHILLING 🥶🍦zàijiàn 🥶🍦

Onyeka Okongwu tipped in a missed shot with 6.1 seconds left, and Jaylen Brown missed a jumper at the buzzer on Tuesday night as the Atlanta Hawks overcame a 15-point, second-half deficit to beat the Boston Celtics 117-116 in their NBA Cup opener.

When is cupcake switching teams again? If I reach 50 dislikes that means I upset the whole Suns fanbase.

gay

i have a job whats ur problem

hate that get it away from me

what kind of jam???? strawberry jam??? hahahahahahahahahahaha

yeah i really was happy when the

Looking for a song about how your dad used to be the 3rd base coach at your little league games but was always drinking whiskey in a Dunkin's cup, so they had to kick him off the team, so now he just stands there menacingly in outfield, and then you fall in love with the left fielder but it's really not genuine, you just love him for his big pool and water slide, but you're dumb and young and go for it anyway, and when you go to kiss him, he's like "bro I'm not gay", and you're like "Wait, no, me neither, I just like your pool," and he says "what???" and he never invites you back over to his pool again. So you ask your mom for a pool and she's like "we live in an apartment", so now you hate your mom too. Then you grab your dad's Dunkins cup at a game while he's not looking to cope with the pain and you're drunk playing 2nd base, and you miss all the balls. Any songs like that?

At this point, I'm not even watching the playoffs because my Sacramento Kings missed the playoffs again, unfortunately. I have only watched 2 playoff series throughout my entire lifetime and that was last year when my Kings lost in 7 games to Golden State (which I still haven't recovered from at all) and in 2009 when the Celtics vs Bulls faced off in the first round and that's when I was only 5 years old and I started watching basketball in 2007 when I was 3

sure i can give you 3 dollars

IMGONNAKILLMYSELFANDMAKEYOUALLWATCH

I saw a video where Joseph Rogan was looking very old. He explained to Benjamin Shapiro that it was because he went to the beach that makes you old. Benjamin understandably didn't believe him, telling him that it was impossible. He then decides to go to the beach that makes you old to prove Joseph wrong. We then see an older looking Benjamin come back, and reluctantly admitting that the beach that makes you old made him old.

This revealed a massive plothole in Elden Ring. We know that Miquella wanted to become older, so why didn't he go to the beach that makes you old ? He must have seen the video with Joseph Rogan and Benjamin Shapiro, so I don't understand why he didn't try. Was Hidetaka Miyazaki unaware of the beach that makes you old ? Will it be revealed in the DLC that Messmer blocked any access to the beach that makes you old to anyone other than Rogan and Shapiro? Someone please help me understand!

Setup an internet date. Arrived at the coffee shop and realized the pics were from a long time ago or really misleading. It was annoying but I'm no 10/10. We chatted over a coffee then opted to get lunch next door. I wasn't getting much of a vibe but I was hungry.

As we're eating and I'm struggling to keep the conversation going, in the window behind me this truck pulls up with two dogs in the back. Owner runs off on some errand while the dogs stay put. Mid-bite, these two dogs start going at it hard. I mean the one on top has the other bent over the edge of the truck. They are banging like the next stop is the vet. The entire time they are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, they just stare at me.

My date looked at them once or twice, awkward laugh, then tried to resume normal first date banter. I couldn't do it. Just paid the tab and bounced. Neither of us messaged afterwards.

up ur ass and around the corner

im biked up rn !!!

Funny story 😭 OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the ♥♥♥♥ out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-rep i hate this man

Bed of Chaos is a well designed boss and this is why (PLEASE READ)

ok now ive got your attention, what the actual ♥♥♥♥ is this boss? ive never come so close to breaking my monitor how the ♥♥♥♥ did this get past a playtest

SERIOUS: I showed my gf the video of Scottie Barnes running and she thought I was making fun of a special needs athlete.

The video of Scottie Barnes running on to the court came up on my feed and I laughed to myself about it. My gf asked me what was funny so I showed her and she immediately got upset with me and asked me why I thought it was funny. It quickly became clear that she thought he was an actual special needs athlete instead of one of the top basketball picks from the past 5 years.

today i finally got to the dragon slayer armor boss in dark souls 3 and i found him pretty easy because im a professional boxer in real life but just before entering i felt like i needed to go to the restroom but i didnt cos i wanted to kill the boss first so it was easy but when i landed the final blow i suddenly pooped and farted and the secret poo and piss man cutscene played for the boss and it entered the third phase and i got a personal message from hide taka miyazaki saying he is most impressed by my poop and fart skills and also something about loving minors and also something about a pendant and now theres a man standing in the corner looking at me all night i tried calling the police but they said im on my own and i dont know what to do i never shouldve sold all those people on the slave market in 2008 frfr

conclusion: DO NOT ♥♥♥♥ your pants while playing dark souls 3

My Experience with Miyazaki at GamesCom [Serious]

When I first walked in queue Miyazaki rudely came up to me and started throwing his ass back into me. I was not only horny, but disgusted with the gesture. I then called the security and they started to also throw back their fat asses on me. Miyazaki then had the audacity to beg for sexy sex sex feet. However I am only -28⁷ which would make this illegal. In reaction to me saying "no daddy swamp don't give the top" he proceeded to rip my heart out and shove it down my throat, this resulted in me ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dying.

I hope I'm not overreacting

mills you have to stop. you smoke too mid. your swag too similar. your boyfriend is too bad. they’ll kill you

hello caller!

Glen Davis. Getting the rebound and putting it in. Hey there momma. Little baby is all grown up. No more diapers. No more late night feedings. Your baby is working full time. College degree. Out on his own. Gainfully employed. Passing, dribbling, shooting the ball. Climbing the corporate ladder. Breaking the glass ceiling. Paid vacation? I don't think so. Severance package? No thank you, I like what I do. I enjoy getting out of bed in the morning. Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care Jeff Van Gundy. Celtics by 5.

CRAB TAKEOVER

sup this is dave, i live in cal-i! lol, i work at pizza hut slinging that 'za at those dudes about to chow down watchin the game on friday night hit me up if you wanna play quake!

give me money

IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ THAT KILLED U!
..._...|..____________________, ,
....../ ..---___________----_____|]= D~~~~~~~~
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
send this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get a 13 your A TRUE HOMIE

https://youtu.be/rZvGfsDzTfU?t=44

can’t believe snorkeltwist42 would talk to me like that i am shaking and crying

i have 3 dollars

ur mom

sorry man don’t have it but I got your weedwacker that you used and went around those traffic circles in Hollywood, Florida during rush hour with

and np bro i HATE MAIL i HATE THE POSTAL SERVICE

jus call me the chicken chonker (thx kyle atomicman)

oh heavens no the spunsklobs are plentiful

Oh god Plz No

i can't trust u with anything patrick you're just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ all over the place ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

when you can feel the tar filling up your lungs and your life slowly slipping away from you in the form of either lung cancer, emphysema, or a cruel combination of the two but you must continue smoking becuase this is the 1950's and in order to fit in with the in-crowd to avoid cripping depression you must smoke tobacco or tobacco products.

I'VE BEEN SMASHING IT

what's up man? haven't heard from you since the denny's incident LOL! anyway, my son is having his 6th birthday party at the local bowling alley and i want you to come. i know you threw up at the last one but it's water under the bridge now. message me back on AOL if you're interested in coming :)
- kevin