I don't have anything interesting to put here so.....

When I was an unborn baby hanging out inside my Mum's womb, I somehow managed to get meconium lodged into my tiny baby ear canal. Meconium, for those that don't know, is what a newborn babies first poop is called. It's a sticky, thick, dark green gack that's made up of cells, protein, fats, and intestinal secretions. And it's typically passed in the first few hours & days afterbirth, but some babies pass meconium while still in the womb, during late pregnancy.

So I had this stuff living rent-free in my ear canal, unbeknownst to myself and everyone else around me, until I was between 7 & 8 years old. When during -what felt like- the billionth appointment with my GP to have my ears syringed-out (due to ongoing, chronic ear-ache). The process suddenly yielded a large, black ball of the stuff. Which when combined up into a ball, had a diameter relative to the width of the then, UK fifty pence piece (that back then had a width of 30mm!)

At the time I was fobbed off by the GP & my Mum, as it being "just some wax that had been stuck there for a while" and I wasn't really given the space to examine it myself. But my Mum had that opportunity & confirmed the size to me on the way home, and then when it was reiterated back to other family members. I think it also had to be sent for testing.

But once I was in my late teens, I finally learned the full truth about the large mass of 'old wax' that had been removed that day. When during a discussion where I'd suddenly recalled the whole saga with repeatedly getting my ears syringed out. As well as recalling how painful it had been as the GP repeatedly failed to solve the issue. I managed to offend my Mum. Who then took it upon herself to rather brutally set me straight in front of everyone (both family & several of my friends, which included someone I had a crush on.) By informing me that "it was never wax that came out of your ear, it was meconium" followed by "and if you're wondering what that is, its poop!" To which I, with great revulsion then replied "Oh my god! You shatt in my ear!?!" And she, with much smugness countered: "No [insert name]. YOU shatt in your OWN ear!"