Its 9:00 on a Saturday

The attackers shuffle in

There's an old Maestro crouching next to me, making love to his ALDA and gin

"He says son can you guard the hostage, our team is just rushing for kills. Oh its sad and sweet and I did it complete when I wore Castle's clothes"

La la la, di da da

La la, di da da dum

Sing us a song you're on the objective

Stay on the objective tonight

Well we're all in the mood for a rank up

And you haven't teamkilled all night

Now Lion at the bar is a friend of mine

He spots the enemies for free

And hes quick with a prayer or to drop the defuser

But there's some tournament where he'd rather be

He says "Maverick I believe this is nerfing me, as the smile ran away from his face"

"Well im sure that I could be a pickable option If I could get out of this place"

La la la, di da da

La la, di da da dum

Now Tachanka is a turret enthusiast

Who never had time for a reload

And hes talking with Blitz whose mechanics are on the fritz

and probably will be for life

And the Recruit is practicing tactics

As the operators slowly disconnect

oh their sharing a bug they call bad connection

but its better then playing alone

Sing us a song you're on the objective

Stay on the objective tonight

Well we're all in the mood for a rank up

And you haven't teamkilled all night

Its a pretty laggy lobby for a Saturday

And the devs give me a smile, Cause they know its me who's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with glee

To distract the redditors for awhile

And the nitro cell sounds like static

and the headset smells like chips

And they sit at the spawn and rattle em off

and say 'Platinum what're you doing here"

La la la, di da da

La la, di da da dum

Sing us a song you're on the objective

Stay on the objective tonight

Well we're all in the mood for a rank up

And you haven't teamkilled all night

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate siege It has taken everything from me. My time, energy, will to live, money, anything you could ever have. It killed my dreams. It shot down my hopes. Every single day whenever I queue into a ranked game of siege, all i feel is an agonizing and apocalyptic dread and terror. But I'm not quitting. Even if it's a wheelchair person they add, at least i can finally kill a cripple, because i imagine it's a ubisoft employee. Every single ubisoft employee is a mental cripple, so, at least they are somewhat related They continue to add ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ maps, they continue to rework maps no one asked for and somehow make them worse. They continue to do their lazy ♥♥♥♥ with skins and just give already existing skins a different colour to call them new. The battle pass is also ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and in the future, they also plan to reduce the amount of items you can get from the free battle pass. This is a horrible endless cycle of pain and terror. But I'm not quitting. At least you'd think they do something about the chronus/xim users on console, or the blatant cheaters on PC, but no, to this day, I proceed to get randomly headshotted across the map through 5 walls. But I'm not quitting. To this day, they refuse to take out the most bottom-line and horsecock maps from ranked pool such as Lair, Theme Park or Skyscraper. Because what else do I need after work than to sit down, and see that the 5 maps in ranked from which both teams can ban one-one are Lair, Theme Park, Skyscraper, Outback and Consulate, when there's maps that are so much better, such as Kafe Dostoyevsky, Oregon, Chalet, Coastline and Club House. The moment I boot this game up, all I want to do is put the barrel of a shotgun in my mouth, and paint the wall red behind myself with smithereens of my head. But I'm not quitting. Let's not even talk about the ranked and MMR system. Why is it that as a plat 3, I get silver or gold teammates, sometimes even bronze or copper, but when I check r6 tracker on the enemy team, they are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ emeralds and diamonds, sometimes even champions. Why is it that the enemy team has so much coordination and teamwork, while my random teammate proceeds to pick Mira, and put her window on a soft wall, then proceed to reinforce the wall next to it. This is nothing but sheer mental torture. But I'm not quitting.