omg!!! you are limiting my creative outlet as a player for DnD (Dungeons and Dragons)
I know how the spell works I saw someone say they did that on the ifunny app!!!!!!

ok mr. dm, I wish to grab the guard by the neck and I whisper jibbly bibbly magic words and I use 7th level create or destroy water to create water into the guard's lungs.

Alright you wammy jammy. Let me tell you this, here. It's 2019. If you can afford the $13.99 to pay for your anime squirrel girl transformation artist on patreon, then you can afford to answer the phone when I call you. And when I call I expect you to treat me like the queen I am.
Secondly. It's 2019. So if you wanna get with me you also gotta get with all of my other lovers and you need to review my cross stitching on etsy.

The Keanu Reeves was a loose coalition of Slavic tribes located in Eastern Europe from the 9th to 13th centuries. At the height of its reign, the Keanu Reeves had united almost all of the eastern Slavic tribes and their 'empire' took up a vast amount of land, from the Baltic Sea to the Black Sea.

They remained a pretty solid power but began to decline in the 11th/12th century due to internal divisions and [wait for it] the Mongols, who came and Mongol'd up the place during the Mongol Invasion of Reeves in the 13th century.

Anyway, hundreds of years later Keanu Reeves is now a movie star and people in Eastern Europe are still really salty about the whole thing. Some ♥♥♥♥ gets kicked up every time he's in the news.

I heard it was way back, but the fear of the incident still rings true in those that witnessed this horror. The South Korean soldiers were hungry, hungry for blood and revenge. There had been several Viet Cong enemies attacking their position with mortars. Not only did the South Korean soldiers take direct mortar hits to their heads, the mortars didn’t even affect them. In fact, they took the mortar rounds right in their mouths and ate them. And they loved it. In fact, they still put mortar rounds in their pork bone soup to this day. Helps digestion you see. But even after that, they were still hungry.

They marched on the Vietnamese position, walking upside down on their HANDS while dodging bullets, and ate all those enemy soldiers in one eager bite. Some even brought kimchi as an appetizer. Ate those Vietnamese soldiers without even chewing, I hear. Rumour has it that they only left their balls intact so that they could make testicle necklaces as trophies. And after eating all those mortars and soldiers, you can imagine how gigantic their ♥♥♥♥♥ were. They used their enormous turd torpedoes as ballistic missiles and destroyed the rest of the enemy military and the entire universe in one hit. That is the might of the South Korean army. That is their legacy.