JoeRector's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 2:46pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 2:24pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 2:15pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 9:27am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 1:44pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 2:55pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2017 @ 7:31am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 5:27am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 7:03am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 10:46am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2017 @ 7:56am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2020 @ 9:48am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 4:27am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 10:15am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2017 @ 7:24am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 2:23pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 9:17am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 9:56am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2019 @ 10:56am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 5:15am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 2:52pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2019 @ 10:54am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 9:28am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 11:21am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2019 @ 10:55am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 5:43am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 4:36am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 9:13am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2017 @ 8:41am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2017 @ 9:06am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 10:46am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2017 @ 3:29pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 6:42am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 1:47pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 4:32am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2017 @ 7:36am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 1:49pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2019 @ 10:55am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 2:51pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 3:01pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 3:01pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 1:37pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 1:48pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 1:51pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 3:05pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 5:31am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 11:22am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 6:26am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2017 @ 10:33am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 10:58am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 2:44pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 3:29pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 2:48pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2017 @ 3:30pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 11:51am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2020 @ 9:55am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2020 @ 10:42am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2020 @ 5:58am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2020 @ 9:47am

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2020 @ 5:25am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2020 @ 4:54am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 3:17pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2020 @ 12:01pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

3 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,545 / 5,000