Anything that is good and useful is made of chocolate.
😙
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats
on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
-- Steven Wright
😱
She asked me, "What's your sign?"
I blinked and answered "Neon,"
I thought I'd blow her mind...
😫
Tom Tucker: I think I speak for everyone when I say, New York and everyone from there can fornicate themselves with an iron stick.
😯
If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much;
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.
-- Dorothy Parker
🤧
Kliban's First Law of Dining:
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
🤤
... he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE.
😪

-rep wallhack

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- rep ♥♥♥♥♥♥