Hello! (Please click on the underlined words/phases for more details!)

I am Joe Biden. I am the vice president of the United States. I was born in 1942, during World War II. I am now 78 years old; the oldest president to ever be elected. I've been in government since 1972, when I was elected to the US Senate at age 29. I stayed there until 2009 when I became vice president with President Obama. As of 2020, I am vice president again with President Harris. They say third time's a charm. 1988 and 2008 didn't work, but 2020 did! Finally, I am president! Oh, also, sorry about the mistakes you might see; I am getting old.

People love me. The whole country has been touched [www.businessinsider.com] by me. There's nothing the voters want more than a rich, old, white male. I am a middle class guy from Scranton, Pennsylvania - despite the fact I live in a 12,000 sq. ft. house [nypost.com] with a 20-car garage and a monthly payment of $20,000. As a the cool middle-class guy you'd love to have a beer with, I am very touchy in touch with your everyday American.

I could not have become president without my biggest supporter: Coronavirus. He is really a great guy. When polling showed I was failing at all the important top issues (the economy, foreign policy, terrorism, etc.), he pulled through for me and changed the top issue! Despite the 1% death rate, my friends in the media helped me scare everyone into believing we needed to vote from home in this election, after staying home for nearly a year. In case you weren't convinced he's amazing, he also eliminated the flu [gis.cdc.gov] this year! He found the cure!

I would also like to thank my son, Hunter Biden, who has brought in millions of dollars during his very transparent overseas dealings - particularly with China. Together, my son and I helped used the influence of my office to enrich our family. We are extremely excited that the voters have provided us another - even better - opportunity to enrich ourselves. As I like to say, government works well for some! Oh, it didn't work for you? I guess you got the short end of the stick.